Blind
by babysis
Summary: A tale as old as time about best friends who can't see that they're made for each other. Will they realize it before it's too late? It's better than it sounds, I promise. At least, I hope...Usual couples, rated for some language and suggestions. R&R!
1. Prelude

This is my first attempt (I use that word a lot, it seems) at more than a one shot. It'll probably suck, it's an overused plotline, but I'm using it anyway. I can only hope that you'll give it a shot.

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May 14th, 1994, Forks, Washington

_The new girl in town was swinging, quite noticeably by herself, on a swing set in the local park. She had big brown eyes, brunette hair that seemed unmanageable, pale lips and skin, and looked to be about 4-years-old. She started swinging higher and higher, loving the feeling of the wind blowing in her hair. Then she landed, clumsily, on the ground in front of her, scraping her knee in the process. She looked up with tears in her eyes, searching desperately for her mother. When she spotted her, she was, as always, fighting with the little girl's father. Her mother kept saying something about a "divorce". What did that mean?, the little girl wondered._

_She looked at her knee; it was bleeding and had small pieces of woodchips in it. The tears that had been threatening finally fell down her chubby, rosy cheeks. She looked to her mom again, only to discover that she still wasn't paying any attention to her. It was perfectly normal. Her parents had been fighting a lot lately so their attention was mostly on each other. But they were still good parents. The best, actually. She turned her head to her left when she heard a gasp._

"_Are you okay?" asked the little boy that had made the startled noise. She blushed not only from the embarrassment of falling, but also because she thought he was cute. He had bronze hair that was attractively tousled, captivating green eyes, an elegant pale complexion, and also looked to be about 4 years of age. He knelt down next to her, examining the minor wound. _

"_Are you a doctor?" the young female asked, somewhat shyly. The boy shook his head._

"_My dad is," he explained. "He taught me how to clean up little cuts…I can clean it for you." He looked hopeful, like he loved doing this sort of thing._

"_How? You don't have any doctor stuff."_

_The boy looked around. "Well…there's a water fountain over there." He pointed a short distance away from where they sat. "That would clean it out some."_

_The girl looked at him, unsure. Her parents had told her not to talk to strangers, but he was her age and seemed nice enough. And, for some strange reason, she wanted to go with him, to be with him as long as possible before her parents noticed that she was injured. She nodded._

"_Do you need help?" the boy asked, offering his hand to assist her in getting up._

"_I'm okay," she replied. The boy looked slightly disappointed, but he quickly covered it up with a small smile. They both stood up and headed to the water fountain. For children's convenience, one of the two fountains was shorter than they were._

"_It might sting some," the little boy warned. "You can squeeze my arm if you need to."_

"_I should be okay," the little girl said. "Stuff doesn't hurt me that much." The boy looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway. He started to run the water over the scrape, but stopped immediately when the girl winced._

"_Are you okay?" he asked again, more worried than before. For a reason he couldn't quite understand, he didn't want to hurt her._

"_I'm fine. You can keep doing it." He looked at her, concerned, but ran the water nonetheless. He didn't stop this time when she winced, mostly because she had taken his advice and squeezed his arm. He liked the feeling that accompanied her skin touching his._

"_There," he said. "That's as clean as water is going to get it."_

_She glanced at him and gave an awkward smile. "Thanks."_

_He returned her smile. "You're welcome."_

"_Bella!" her mother called as she ran toward the young children. "Sweetheart, are you alright? I looked at the swings and you weren't there; I was so worried!"_

"_I'm okay, Momma. I fell and this boy helped clean me up." She nodded to the little boy._

"_Well, that was very nice of you, son," the little girl's father said. "Where are your parents?"_

_The little boy shrugged. "I live around the corner. They let me come here by myself."_

_The little girl's parents looked to each other, dumbfounded at the fact that parents would let their 4-year-old child go to the park alone._

"_Well, why don't we take you home and tell your parents what a hero you were today?" the mother asked. He nodded eagerly, happy to be able to spend more time with the little girl._

"_Okay." They all started to walk toward the little girl's parent's car._

"_I'm Edward," the little boy whispered as he walked next to the girl._

"_Bella," she replied._

_Bella grabbed Edward's hand as they rode in the car, butterflies filling her stomach. Little did she know that she had not only found her best friend;_

_She had found her soul mate._

* * *

There's my short little introduction/prelude or whatever. Shall I continue? It's pretty much up to you. I know this doesn't tell much about what the plotline will be exactly so…I guess you'll have to trust me. You can probably pretty much guess it, though. Like I said, this is my first try at something that's more than a one shot so keep in mind when you review that I'm a newbie and I really have no idea what I'm doing. But I'll pretend that I do. It's more fun that way.

Oh, and about the date, May 14th is both my and Robert Pattinson's birthday! He plays Edward in the Twilight movie(s), for those of you who don't know. I think you'd be crazy not to know that, though….Anyway, the year came because I wanted them to be 4 when they met, and to be 18 where the story starts. So they were born in 1990 and the story will take place in present day. Why 4? Because 4-year-old's are cute. Plain and simple.

REVIEW?!


	2. Chapter 1

Seeing how the prelude didn't really give anything into the plotline, I decided to post the first chapter and see how you guys react to it.

At the beginning of each chapter, I'm going to put a quote from the song I had on repeat while writing. I can't write without music; the same as many author's. Also, the whole story will be in 3rd person point of view. From what I've heard from reviews and feedback, I seem to write better in 3rd person than in 1st.

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"When the sun shines, we'll shine together, told you I'll be here forever, said I'll always be your friend, took an oath, I'mma stick it out till the end, now that it's raining more than ever, told you we'll still have each other, you can stand under my umbrella" - Umbrella by Rihanna (I, personally, like All Time Low's version a lot better. Their version is what I had on repeat).

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_May 14th, 2008, Forks, Washington_

It was 14 years to the day since they had become best friends, something that was previously celebrated, but the date was scarcely mentioned nowadays. Seniors in high school, they were as close as best friends could possibly be. Partly due to their companionship, neither of them had had a serious relationship before. Sure, they had flings and Edward had occasional one night stands, but nothing that could be considered an actual "relationship". The significant others got promptly jealous and frequently accused them of being in love. Of course, they always denied it. It was a ridiculous thought. They were more siblings than anything; they fought like brother and sister, had pictures of themselves in a bubble bath together as young children like a brother and sister would, and they were there for each other like siblings should be, willing to go to the ends of the earth for one another. Any suggestions of a romantic affinity between them were simply brushed off with a "we're just friends" or "it's not like that". Many didn't believe them, especially when they slept at each other's houses, in the same bed, just like last night.

Edward's hand hit the alarm clock as it buzzed loudly on his night stand, reading 5:30 am. He was the definition of handsome. His bronze hair was still messy in an enticing way, his eyes green and seductive, his skin was impeccable, his body perfectly fit, and his voice was smooth like velvet. He gently elbowed Bella's sleeping figure next to him. She was what many would deem "plain Jane". Brunette hair that could only be presentable when she used a straightener, her chocolate eyes held depths only Edward had been to the bottom of, her skin was still pale, and her curves were few.

"You're turn to go first," he grumbled, snuggling back into the bed.

"No, you go," she replied with a muffled voice. She had her head buried in the pillow.

"I went last time," he complained. "You go."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

He sighed. "Fine, I'll get in the shower first, but I only take, like, 5 minutes so you won't be able to sleep that much longer." She groaned as he got up and headed to the bathroom. True to his word, he was back 5 minutes later, totally ready for school, and started hitting her with a pillow.

"Bella, get up!"

"No!" she exclaimed, reaching her arm behind her to shoo him.

"Bella, please get up. I don't wanna be late."

She turned around. "Why? Afraid you're little girlfriend won't wait for you?"

"She's not my girlfriend," he retorted.

"You want her to be."

He was silent. Bella looked up at him; he was staring at the wall. She didn't know why, but seeing him daydreaming about Amber….bothered her. She routinely brushed off the feeling and got up, pushing Edward down on the bed as she passed him.

"Maybe you should stop daydreaming about asking her out and just do it already!" she yelled as she walked out of the room. He shook his head and got up to make them breakfast. As he entered the kitchen, he was greeted by his always chipper sister, Alice. They were only 11 months apart so their parents, Carlisle and Esme, had them start school at the same time when they were kids, resulting in them both being seniors this year.

"Good morning, Edward!"

"Morning, Alice."

"Cheer up! You'll get Amber someday!"

He looked up at her, his expression confused. "Just because I didn't bid you good morning cheerfully doesn't mean I'm not happy. I'm tired. It's too early…And why do you guys always assume that I'm thinking about Amber?"

"Uh, because you are," Bella said as she entered the room, showered and clothed in record time. She sat next to Edward at the island, grabbed the box of cereal he had in front of him, and poured it in the bowl he had set out for her.

"Bella."

She looked up at the sound of Alice's voice.

"What. Are. You. _Wearing?!_"

Bella rolled her eyes. "It's called jeans and a t-shirt, Alice. It's quite common."

"It's unacceptable."

"It's fine," Edward interjected. Bella gave him a grateful smile. They both laughed silently as Alice left the room, mumbling profanities to herself.

"Ready to go?" Edward asked.

Bella looked up at him with an annoyed expression on her face. "Can I finish eating first?"

He blushed. "Yeah, sorry."

She rolled her eyes. "Amber'll be waiting for you, Edward. She always is."

"What makes you think-"

The look she gave him made him stop mid-sentence. "I'm not an idiot," she started, "I can tell when you're head over heels for a girl."

He gazed off dreamily. "I can't help it, Bells. She's so beautiful, smart, funny, kind…"

Bella stuck her tongue out at him in a gagging gesture. He didn't see it. She sighed for an unknown reason. She didn't take to Amber because…well, she just didn't like her.

"Let's go, lover boy. Wouldn't wanna keep Amby waiting."

They left the house in Edward's Volvo, his heart racing as he fantasized about Amber, her heart aching for a reason she didn't yet comprehend.

* * *

When they got to school, Amber was waiting for Edward in the main hallway, just like everyday. He grinned and walked over to her, not even saying a quick "bye" to Bella. She watched him go, a sad visage slightly distorting her face, but quickly recovered when she heard her friend Rosalie calling her name.

"Hey, Bella!"

"Hey, Rose." She met Rosalie shortly after meeting Edward. Rosalie had been dating Edward's older brother, Emmett, since forever. Emmett was in college, but came home every weekend to see Rose, and the rest of his family, of course.

"Where's Edward?" Rosalie questioned, looking around Bella.

"Where do you think?" Bella replied sharply. "He's following that bitch around like a dog on a leash." Rosalie looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"Whatever, let's just go to class." Bella scurried off while a dumbfounded Rosalie struggled to keep up with her.

* * *

At lunch, Edward pulled Bella to the side, making sure he couldn't be heard.

"I need your help."

"'Bout time you admitted it," she mumbled.

He gave an exasperated sigh and impatiently said, "Isabella, please."

She flinched at the use of her full name. "Okay, fine. Damn, Edward. It was just a joke. What do you want?"

"I need you to help me ask Amber out."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "You can't do it yourself?"

"I want it to be special. She means a lot to me, Bells. I don't wanna fuck this up."

Bella felt a familiar squeeze at her heart, but ignored it. "Ok, um…how about dinner at Te Quiero's? I hear it's pretty romantic, even the name hints at that. And God knows you can afford it."

He nodded. "Yeah, yeah, that's good! Thanks, Bella!" He gave her a quick hug then pulled back to look at her. "Do you think you can come? It would really help for, you know, moral support or whatever."

"I don't think it'd be very romantic to ask a girl out with your best friend, who's a girl, sitting at the table."

"Oh, yeah…" he trailed. He looked deep in thought for a second then snapped his fingers. "I got it! Everyone can come. You, Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett. That way it would just look like you guys were all hanging out."

"On the same day that you're taking her out, at the same place? It'd seem suspicious to me, Edward."

"It'll be a Saturday night at a popular restaurant. Coincidences would be bound to happen." He looked at her desperately. "Please, Bella. I need you there. I can't do it without you."

She sighed, defeated. "Fine. But you're asking her to dinner on your own."

"Yeah, okay, that's fine. Thanks so much, Bells!" He gave her another brief squeeze and hurried off to the lunch table. Not the one Bella and the gang sat at, but the one he had started sitting at recently with Amber and her friends. Bella watched him go, something she seemed to be doing a lot of these days. She walked back to her table and announced the plan to everyone. They all nodded in agreement, however, they looked disappointed. The bell rang and Bella got up to go to class. Everyone else lingered in the cafeteria.

"What do we do?" Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and Rosalie's twin brother, asked in a hushed voice.

"I don't know," Rosalie replied. "They just can't see that they're made for each other. It's sad."

"Bella's going to get hurt," Alice commented. "Amber's going to say 'yes' and Bella's going to get hurt."

"It's inevitable," said Jasper. "There's nothing we can do. You know how they act if people bring stuff like this up with them." The girls nodded.

"I guess we just have to sit back and let fate run it's course," Rosalie said sadly. The others shrugged woefully and got up to go to class.

* * *

At the end of the day, Bella was waiting for Edward by his car. He was unnaturally late. She took out her phone to text him, but then she heard Amber's high-pitched voice.

"I can't wait for Saturday, Edward."

"Yeah, me neither." Bella could hear the smile in his voice. It made her want to puke. They stopped in front of Edward's Volvo and hugged, longer than casual friends would. Bella cleared her voice to make her presence known, since they obviously didn't notice her standing there . The embracing couple looked to her.

"Sorry, Bells. Didn't see you there," Edward explained. The grin was still plastered on his face.

"Yeah, I noticed," she replied curtly. Edward furrowed his brows, but didn't comment on her tone.

"I'll see you tomorrow night, Amber."

"See you, Edward. Bella." She said Bella's name in a tone that made her want to choke the barbie. Bella replied merely with a forced smile.

They got in the car and Edward turned to Bella excitingly.

"Saturday's the day," he said, his eyes shining. "The day my life will finally be complete."

Tomorrow. The day Bella's life would unavoidably fall apart.

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So…what do you think? Reviews equal chapters, people. That is, unless you don't want another chapter…I wouldn't blame you.

Oh, and seeing as everyone is human and this is my story, they're going to be somewhat out of character. Why? Because this is my story, not Stephenie Meyer's. This is how I write them, as humans. I can only wish that I had Meyer's talent, but I don't.

Oh, and you might've noticed that I make Edward say "Bells". I just think it works for the whole "best friends since forever" thing. Jacob probably won't be a part of this fic, not because I don't like him, just because he doesn't fit. So don't read too much into the nickname. I just like it. And if you don't know, "te quiero" means "I love you" in Spanish. You could also say "te amo".

Anyway, don't forget to review, please!


	3. Chapter 2

So I didn't get as many reviews as I'd hoped for, by far. I didn't get many at all. But I'm gonna keep posting chapters anyway because I don't like my work to just sit around unread by anyone. Thanks to those of you that did take the time to review, and if you're reading this, please, please review, even if it's constructive criticism. I welcome that. Just don't be harsh, please.

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"I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about, and she's got everything that I have to live without…He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right…She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love, look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky 'cause…He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart" - Teardrops On My Guitar by Taylor Swift. I hate the popped out versions of this song, the dumb radio versions. The one I had on repeat was the original, country-like, mostly acoustic one, the one that actually says "so damn funny" instead of "just so funny". It sounds so stupid. And you can see that I put certain parts of the song in the quote instead of just a continuing part. It worked better like that. Anyway, on to the story.

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"Edward, you look fine!" Bella exclaimed. He was fidgeting constantly, fixing his tie, smoothing down his shirt, unbuttoning and re-buttoning. He was wearing a green silk shirt that brought out his eyes and hinted at the muscles underneath, a black tie, black slacks, and dress shoes. Thoughts invaded Bella's mind of what she'd like to do with that tie, but she pushed them aside. This night was about Edward finally getting the girl of his dreams. Her weird feelings that had risen up out of nowhere didn't matter.

"Are you sure this tie is okay?" he asked nervously. "No. No, of course it isn't. God, I'm an idiot. I should've gone with the-"

"Edward!" Bella shouted. "It's perfect! You look great!" _Amazing_, she thought in her mind. _No! God, Bella, stop thinking like that! That's gross! This is Edward we're talking about! The kid who used to wipe his boogers under the coffee table!_ That seemed to do the trick, for now.

"I'm sorry, Bells. I just…I really want this to be perfect." She looked at him sympathetically.

"I know," she said. "And it will be. Everything is going to go flawlessly tonight. I promise."

He nodded, seemingly convinced.

"Now go pick Amber up. For once, I'm encouraging you to be there on time."

He laughed anxiously then turned to her with a earnest expression. "Thank you, Bella, for everything. For setting this up and all."

She smiled, surprised with herself that it was forced. "No problem. That's what best friends are for, right?" She disregarded the tug at her heart as she said "friend".

"Yeah, sure." He grinned widely and gave her hug before leaving to pick up Amber. _No!,_ Bella's heart screamed,_ Don't leave! Come back! Stay with me!_ She was inattentive to her heart's desires.

"Ready to go, stumblebum?" asked Emmett as he walked up to her with his arm around Rosalie, Alice and Jasper trailing behind him. He had given her that nickname when she was 7 and tripped down the stairs, landing right on him. She used to hate it, but it was comforting now, knowing at least one of her best friends still remembered her. _Idiot_, she scolded herself, _Edward remembers you. He's just a little…distracted now. It's not a big deal._

She took a second to compose herself, making sure her inner battle wasn't on display. As she turned around to face them, she couldn't help but to gasp. They all looked stunning. Rosalie was wearing a red dress that came down just above her knees. It wrapped around her neck and had an empire waist, resulting in some cleavage. Her pumps were also red, but had a small black bow where it started to close around the toes. Emmett was wearing something similar to Edward, except his shirt was a shade of mahogany and his large muscles weren't just hinted at, they were flaunted, and his shoes matched his shirt. Alice had on a little black dress that had some sort of rhinestones below the bust and spaghetti straps. Her heels were open toed and most of the shoe had no covering, except for the backing and part of the foot. Jasper was wearing a black button up shirt, tan pants, and black boots, everything accenting his slender form.

Looking at them, Bella felt as plain as ever. Her blue dress came down about the same length as Rosalie's. It had short sleeves and the neckline was in the shape of a "u", with a small bow right above the valley of her breasts. It was plain, she thought, unlike their beautiful, extravagant, _expensive_ dresses. For shoes, Bella had picked a pair of matching flats.

"You guys look amazing," she complimented.

"Thanks, Bella," replied Alice. "You look great, too."

"Yeah, right," Bella mumbled, low enough that no one else heard.

"Let's go guys! I don't wanna miss little Eddie finally getting some action!" exclaimed Emmett. Bella flinched at the thought. She knew Edward wasn't a virgin, but it still made her sick to think of him doing _that_. They left the house, Alice and Jasper in Alice's Porsche, while Bella rode with Emmett and Rosalie in Rose's BMW. As she got in the car, she let out a large sigh, hating herself for hoping Amber would say 'no'.

* * *

When they got to the restaurant, Edward and Amber were already there, sitting in a booth in the back. Bella felt sick at the concept that they were back there for the privacy. She felt immediate jealousy as she looked at Amber. No matter how much Bella hated her, there was no denying that she was beautiful. She had dark brown hair, it was almost black, and her ocean blue eyes complimented her skin tone. She was wearing a strapless pink dress that hugged all her perfect curves. Her matching heels had a buckle around the ankle and there were 3 straps connecting to make a bow at the foot.

The gang was seated where they could easily see what was happening, but far enough that Amber wouldn't notice them unless she was really looking. Bella saw Edward's eyes flash around, most likely looking for her. She pulled out her phone.

_Look to your left. We're right next to the big heart statue_, she texted. She saw Edward's hand go quickly to his pocket as he felt his cell phone vibrate. He found them promptly after reading the message and smiled at her, briefly, so that Amber wouldn't notice. Bella smiled back, even though Edward's attention was already back on his date. It put a lump in her throat. She turned her attention to her own table when she heard the waiter come.

"Um, I'll have whatever she's having," Bella said as she nodded to Alice since she was too wrapped up in her thoughts to even glance what the restaurant offered. They had always had the same taste in food. Everyone muttered "thanks" as the waiter collected their menus. Bella looked at the clock. _7:57._ It was almost time.

Emmett rubbed his hands together and said, "Here we go, folks! The big moment. I can't believe Edward is so cheesy that he would do something like this; It's like he's proposing to her or something." Bella felt her chest tighten as Emmett mentioned Edward…_marrying_ someone. She knew it would happen someday, but to think of it was…strange. What would she do when Edward moved on to bigger and better things? He was destined to leave Forks. There was nothing for him here. Even his best friend couldn't keep him from following his dreams of walking in his father's footsteps in the medical field. The melody of a violin interrupted her thoughts.

Everyone in the restaurant stopped their conversations and turned their attention to where the music was coming from: Edward and Amber's table. He looked over to Bella as if looking for confirmation that this was okay, that he could do this. She wanted to shake her head 'no'. She wanted to tell him it wasn't right, that Amber was just going to hurt him. She wanted to tell him to come over to _her_, to ask the staff to play the violin for _her_, to ask _her_ out. She pushed the absurd thoughts to the back of her mind and, reluctantly, nodded.

Edward blushed as he realized the whole restaurant was staring at him. He leaned across the table and took Amber's hands in his own. Bella saw his lips move, but didn't hear anything. He was whispering. He had never liked the spotlight to be on him. Edward looked nervous, and ducked his head down. Bella knew then that he had said it, he had asked. She saw Amber nod vigorously, her mouth forming 'yes' over and over again.

Edward's face broke out into a grin, oblivious to the fact that he had just broken his best friend's heart.

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Aw, poor Bella. I'm not gonna promise that this is going to get better….REVIEW!…please?


	4. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! You motivate me to keep writing. However, I would like a few more reviews than that. Let's say...15 reviews will equal the next chapter? That isn't even that many reviews so I know you guys can do it.

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"I should've told you everything, if I could give you anything, then I would tell you everything, I wish I could be somebody else, I wish I could see you and myself, I wish there was something inside me, to keep you beside me, and say what you really feel, you know I need, something that's real, I wish there was something inside me, to keep you beside me…I should've told you everything" - Keeper by Yellowcard

* * *

Bella watched as Edward led Amber to the door, their hands intertwined. Her breath had hastened, but she felt as though she couldn't breathe. She was sure that she was on the brink of hyperventilation. It was like her world was crashing down around her, like the earth had crumbled and taken her down with it. She swallowed back a sob as realization finally dawned on her after 14 long, clueless years.

"Oh my God, Bella, are you okay?" asked Alice. Bella only then noticed that everyone at the table was staring at her, concerned. She nodded.

"Yeah, just, uh…" She had to swallow back another lump in her throat. "Claustrophobic. I'm gonna go outside for some air. Be right back." She got up and went outside, leaving her friends confused. They knew she wasn't claustrophobic.

Bella started to walk with no destination in mind. As she trudged along, she couldn't help but to notice how many people were holding hands or had the arms wrapped around each other as they took an evening stroll. It made her sick.

Before she knew it, she was standing in the park where she had first met Edward. There were so many memories here, such as when they were 6 and Tommy Pickens had pushed Bella down. Edward was there immediately and punched Tommy as hard as a 6-year-old could. Or when Bella's parents had gotten a divorce when she was 9. Edward stayed at the park, holding her while she cried, until the sun came up. Then there was the time when Bella was 13 and the same Tommy Pickens had tried to kiss her. She didn't know what happened after that because Edward had taken Tommy for a "walk" so that he could "talk" to him. All she knew was that Tommy never talked to her again, and he always ran away at the sight of Edward. So many memories of him being there for her when she needed him. _So where is he now when I'm enduring the worst pain possible? _Bella walked over to the swing that she had fallen off of on that fateful day, but she didn't swing. She just sat, trying to figure out what she was feeling.

Whatever it was, it was pure hell. It was like two chains were attached to her heart and started pulling separate ways. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't find her voice. It seemed like everything around her was spinning, crashing, then burning. She wanted to punch something, but she couldn't find the strength. All she could do was sit there, trying to define what the pain was.

Bella had never felt like this before. She was used to occasional tugs of pain whenever Edward mentioned liking some girl, but this was way more intense. It was like she was dying or something. _Doesn't sound like such a bad idea_, Bella scoffed in her mind. When she thought it couldn't get any worse, she heard an all too familiar giggle.

"Eddie, stop. We're in a park."

"So?" he asked. "It's, like, 9 o'clock. No one's going to be here."

Bella turned her head to where she heard them, and the sight made the tears finally fall. Edward had Amber pushed up against a tree as he kissed her neck, his hands tightly on her waist. Amber had her hands running through his hair. Bella couldn't take it anymore. She had to run. The couple didn't notice her at all as she bolted right past them.

_Why here?_, she thought desperately, _Here, of all places. This is _our_ park. He had to bring her _here_? He had to screw her _here_? Couldn't he heave taken her somewhere else?_

Bella ran with no intention of stopping until she found herself in front of the Cullen household. Only Carlisle's Mercedes and Jasper's motorcycle were in the driveway so she knew the others were still out, probably wondering where she was. She briefly thought of calling them, but it was quickly forgotten about. She walked up to the house and let herself in, just like she always did.

"Hello? Who's home?" Bella heard Esme call. Footsteps approached until Esme was standing in the foyer with Bella. Her back was turned to the housewife.

"Oh, hello, Bella. Where's everyone else?" Bella didn't answer. She couldn't talk. She had her arms wrapped around herself, trying her hardest not to cry. However, luck had never been on her side, and she a loud sob escaped her lips. Esme rushed to her.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong?" she asked as she stood in front of the young girl. Bella looked up, every feature on her face screaming _heartbreak._ _So that's what this is,_ Bella thought. _This is what it feels like to get your heart broken._

"Bella? Talk to me, please. Let me help," Esme begged. Bella opened her mouth to speak, but only sobs came out. She finally let herself cry, fully, and hugged Esme tightly. She took the broken teen completely in her arms.

"Oh, Bella…" Esme's own heart was breaking to see Bella like this. She loved her like she was one of her own. Since Bella's mom moved to Florida after the divorce, Esme had always been her mother figure.

Bella lifter her head to look at her and tried to say something. "I…I'm…I think…" She let out a few more sobs. She couldn't believe the words that she was about to utter. After 14 years, it all finally made sense. All the pain she had felt whenever Edward had a fling, the hatred for the girl he was with. She always thought it was just from seeing Edward get hurt, something she despised having to witness. As she spoke, her voice cracked, full of pain and agony. "I'm…I'm in…Esme, I'm in love with him."

There was no need to ask who "he" was.

Esme stared at Bella, tears filling her hazel eyes. There was nothing she could do, nothing she could say to make this sort of pain go away. She opted to just holding Bella as she wept. Esme turned her head as she heard the door open. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper entered, their eyes immediately turning to the embracing women. Esme shook her head, gesturing for them to not speak. They all felt Bella's pain as they realized what was happening. Esme held eye contact with Emmett and nodded down to Bella, motioning for him to pick her up. He walked over and lifted her up bridal style as she buried her head in his chest, uncontrollably sobbing.

"Let's take her home," Esme whispered. "It wouldn't do her any good to stay here and have to face Edward in the morning." Emmett nodded and took Bella out to his Jeep. Esme drove, seeing as Bella wouldn't let go of Emmett. For the first time in a long time, he wanted to kill his little brother.

When they got to the Swan household, Charlie was waiting outside. He shot up from his chair when he heard Bella's grief-stricken wails.

"Is she alright?" he asked as Emmett brought her inside.

Esme put a hand on his arm and tearfully replied, "Edward." Charlie nodded, understanding exactly what she meant.

Emmett put Bella on her bed and tried to remove her hands from his neck, but she wouldn't budge.

"Don't leave me," she pleaded. "Don't leave me like Edward did." Saying his name intensified her sobs. Emmett stared at her, tears threatening to spill out of his own eyes.

"Okay, Bella, shh, shh…I'm not going anywhere," he softly reassured her. He climbed in the bed, and she instantly crawled into his open arms, digging her face in his shoulder. He rubbed her back soothingly while whispering the most comforting words he could think of.

For the first time in her life, Bella cried herself to sleep.

* * *

I don't know about you, but I had tears in my eyes as I wrote some of this, and I definitely felt that tug at my heart. Thank God my best friend became my boyfriend before he could hurt me that badly.

Oh, and don't worry about any romance between Bella and Emmett. That's just wrong. He's the big brother she never had. Any feelings between them are strictly familial. Also, I don't remember ever reading what Esme's eye color was when she was human so I just made them hazel. Correct me if I'm wrong, please.

Incase you haven't noticed, everyone knew Bella was in love with Edward, except for Bella and Edward. That's why Charlie immediately understood Esme's simple reply. If Edward was hurt or something, Bella wouldn't be brought home. She'd be at the hospital or wherever Edward was. And as to why Bella ran to the Cullen's house, it was kinda instinctual. She used to going there when she's hurting. And, seriously, what would Charlie do if she ran there? I found it much better for her to run to Esme's arms. I think I covered everything that might be questioned in this chapter...just ask me if there's still something you don't quite understand.

Remember, 15 reviews will equal the next chapter :). Even if there is already 15 reviews on the chapter, please still submit your own review. They mean a lot to me. If you're a writer, I'm sure you can understand that. So, review, please!


	5. Author's Note

I hate to do this to you guys because I hate when people do this, but even my asking for 15 reviews didn't work…that's kind of disappointing. Maybe you guys misunderstood me. I didn't mean 15 reviews in total. I meant 15 reviews solely on the last chapter. I'll give you guys a break and change it to 10. But, seriously, is it so hard to spend a few extra seconds giving a review? It could be one word, for all I care. Just a quick "update" or something like that would make my day. For those of you who just read and don't write, you may not understand the impact reviews have on authors. It's hard for me to explain what they mean to me, personally. Knowing that someone is reading your story, and likes it, is a great feeling. If you do write, I'm sure you can understand why I'm so desperate for reviews. I'm not trying to sound bitchy or review-obsessed; I'm sorry if that's how this is turning out. I'm not asking for much so…could you please just review the last chapter? Like I've previously said, I welcome constructive criticism. Just don't be harsh; be kind about it.

Okay, I'm done with my short review rant. So now maybe you could go back to the last chapter and review it? Meanwhile, I'll be working on the next chapter, which will not be posted until I get the said amount of reviews. And until I'm actually done with it lol.

Oh, and thank you to those who did review. It means the world to me.


	6. Chapter 4

Thank you to those who read my author's note and still came back lol. And thanks to those who reviewed after the A/N. Reviews mean a whole lot so don't forget to review this chapter and the ones to come! The whole "10 equals the next chapter" thing still applies.

Good news! I finished the outline last night! Yay! Once I got to a certain chapter, I wasn't sure where I was going to go. But I know now! I was going to give you guys a few options when I got to that chapter so I started outlining what was going to be option 1, and I like it too much to not use it. So you guys don't get to choose lol. But you'll never know the difference because you won't know what the other options were. Enjoy the chapter!

Oh, and the quote from the song won't be posted until the end of the chapter because it gives away something that happens toward the end of the chapter.

* * *

"Ugh, make it stop!" Bella groaned as the alarm clock continued to buzz. Why wasn't Edward hitting it until it ceased it's ungodly sound? She reached her arm to turn it off and opened her eyes. This wasn't Edward's room. It was her room. What was she doing-?

Oh_. Oh._ The lump that was getting quite familiar built up in her throat again as she remembered everything that had happened Saturday night. Edward's face, and heart-stabbing pain, were frequent in her memories. Then there was yesterday…

"_Want something to eat, Bells?" Charlie asked. Bella was in her bed; she hadn't gotten up yet. Emmett had left temporarily to eat and shower. She shook her head, barely registering the pain that accompanied Charlie using her nickname. The nickname Edward had given her. He had tried to call her a lot today, but she ignored it every time. Hearing his voice would be too painful._

"_Well…do you wanna shower?" he tried again. She shook her head. She'd probably burn in the shower, not being able to feel how hot the water was. She couldn't feel anything._

"_How about-"_

"_No, Dad!" she exclaimed. "I don't want to do anything…" Her voice broke as she whispered, "I _can't_ do anything."_

_Charlie stared at his daughter, torn between sympathy for her and hatred for Edward. He didn't know what to do. Where was Esme when you needed her…_

Bella had spent all day yesterday in her bed. Emmett held her whenever she cried, agreed whenever she ranted. She hated Edward. She wanted to push him off a cliff…then go to the bottom to catch him. Because, no matter how much he hurt her, she still loved him with everything she had. And she hated that, too.

Emmett honked his horn outside of the Swan's house to signal to Bella that he was there. She grabbed some toast and ran out to his Jeep.

"Hey, Bella!" he greeted. He frowned when he saw the dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't slept well.

"Morning, Emmett," she replied as cheerfully as she could. He didn't sleep over last night because he had had a date with Rosalie and they got…occupied. Emmett apologized profusely for not coming over, but Bella assured him that it was okay. He couldn't put his whole life on hold for her.

When they got to school, Emmett pulled into a parking spot and looked over to Bella. She was taking deep breaths as she stared at the silver Volvo a few spots away from them. Emmett put his arm around the back of her seat.

"Bella," he whispered. "You don't have to do this so soon. You can play sick for a few days. No one would know the difference."

She considered it for only a second before shaking her head. "I can do this. If I play sick, Ed…" She stopped,. She couldn't say his name. "_He_ will try to come over with soup or something. Either way, I have to face him."

Emmett nodded. "Okay, you do what's best for you. I have my phone. Text if you need me. I'll be there; I promise."

Bella gave him the best smile she could muster. "I know. Thank you."

"Of course."

She got out of the car and waved as he drove off. She briefly wondered why he hadn't gone back up to college, but soon realized that it really didn't matter.

Throughout the day, Edward had tried to catch Bella's attention. And every time, she acted like she didn't hear or notice him. The day was almost over and she had successfully avoided him numerous times. That is, until she was at her locker getting her stuff to take home.

"Bella!"

She inhaled sharply. Edward was too close for her to pretend she didn't hear him. She took deep breaths and turned to him as he approached.

Bad idea.

The pain that had numbed returned swiftly, only a thousand times worse. She had to put a hand on the lockers to steady herself. To see him smiling as bright as could be while she was dying on the inside was…incomprehensible for her. They had always shared each others pain, shared each others happiness. How could he be beaming while she was suffering?

"Hey, Bells, why didn't you answer any of my calls yesterday? I must've tried, like, 50 times."

_Think, Bella, think._ "Uh…I, uh…lost my phone yesterday. I didn't find it till this morning."

"Oh, well, I've been trying to talk to you all day. Didn't you hear me when I yelled your name? Or see me when I flapped my arms around like a retarded bird?"

"Nope," she lied. He furrowed his brows for a second, but quickly shook it off, seeing no reason why she would be evading him.

"Oh, well…Do you want a ride home? We'd have to drop off Amber first, but that should only take-"

"No," she answered curtly. Seeing his confused expression, she quickly added, "Emmett's already here to pick me up." _Don't wanna distract you from your girlfriend_, she mentally added.

"Oh," he said disappointedly. "Speaking of Emmett, do you know why he didn't go back up to school this week? He won't tell me."

She shook her head.

"Well, maybe you can ride with me tomorrow?"

She faked a smile. "Yeah, maybe tomorrow."

"Okay, then. See ya later, Bells." He walked off, probably to find Amber. When he was out of sight, Bella raised a hand to squeeze her shirt where her heart was. Knives were repeatedly going in it, and turning once they reached their destination, making the pain even more excrutiating.

"Ouch," someone commented beside her. She turned to find the face of Jack Simmons, captain of the football team, manwhore of the school. He was handsome enough, strong jaw, blonde hair, blue eyes, athlete's body. Typical.

"What do you want, Jack?" asked Bella, exasperated. Jack had a habit of hitting on her…well, on every girl, actually.

"What makes you think I want something?" He raised a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Can't I just be concerned that douchebag over there is killing you?"

Her head turned sharply to look at him. "What do you know?"

"Bella, Bella, Bella, _everyone_ knows _everything_! Well, except for dipshit. He's worse than a damn bat." He jerked a thumb in the direction Edward had walked off to.

"It's none of your business, Jack."

"I agree. But I just thought I'd let you know that there's a great place on Palmson Road that would help you forget about all of this."

She glared at him, but asked anyway. "What kinda place?"

"A bar."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I'm only 18, Jack. I can't drink."

"You can at this place." He had a grin on his face, his eyes dancing with excitement. "The bartender hasn't carded a single person in his life. He's great to talk to. He listens, gives advice. And he makes sure to keep the drinks coming."

"You sound like you've had experience there."

"I have. Just check it out. Me and a few other guys from the team are going tonight. Hope to see you there," he said. She watched as he walked off.

"Ready to go?" Emmett questioned from behind her. He obviously hadn't heard anything Jack had said. If he had, Jack wouldn't still have the ability to walk.

"Yeah," Bella replied and left with Emmett, repeating _Palmson Road _in her mind.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you home?"

"Yes, Emmett, for the thousandth time!" Bella yelled. "I want to go to your house to see Alice. I didn't talk to her much today."

"Okay, okay, calm down, spunky. I'm just looking out for you."

She gave him a small smile. "I know. I'll be fine."

As they pulled up, they realized Edward was already home. Emmett looked at Bella with raised eyebrows, silently offering once again to take her home, but she ignored him and walked to the house. She didn't even have to open the door to hear the annoying giggle.

"And then," another giggle, "Eddie said 'I didn't do it!'" She and Edward burst out laughing as those who were listening faked a chuckle.

Tears immediately filled Bella's eyes and she ran down the few steps of the porch.

"Where you going?" asked Emmett.

"I don't know."

"Bella-"

"I'll be fine, Emmett. I can take care of myself."

He looked unconvinced, but nodded anyway. He knew there was no way Bella could face them _together_ and running had always helped to calm her down. "Call me if I'm needed."

With that, she started to run. She sprinted past all of her friend's houses, past her own house, until she reached her destination.

Palmson Road. She stopped to catch her breath and scanned the area. She had never been down this road before. There was a small convenience store, an antique's shop, a dry cleaners, two gas stations that were across the street from each other, and many other one-man business outlets. Then she spotted it.

Young People's Bar. _Nice name,_ Bella scoffed. She walked the short distance to the door and went in. True to its name, no one there was over 21. The youngest looked to be about 15. She shook her head and walked up to the bartender.

"What can I get you, pretty lady?" he asked. His nametag read 'Joe'.

"Well, Joe, I think I'll have…" She racked her mind for some sort of drink she had heard of before. "…something strong." _Something strong? Idiot!_

"Trying to forget, eh?"

The sob built up in her throat again so she simply nodded. He went off the get her drink then pushed it down to her. She stared down at the clear liquid. _What am I doing here?,_ she thought. Then her mind filled with images of Edward pressing Amber against a tree, his lips on her neck, that stupid giggle.

And she took a drink. It burned her throat, but she welcomed the pain. She drank more.

"Whoah, now, slow down, girlie!" the bartender said. "That stuff ain't meant to be gulped."

"I don't care," she retorted and lifted the glass to her lips once again.

"Got your heart broken, didn't ya?"

She nodded somberly.

"In that case, I better go get you some more."

* * *

"…then I heard that bitch giggle and ran off. Ended up here," Bella finished. She had just told Joe the whole story, from when she Edward met to where she was now. In the process, she had had….a lot of drinks.

"I'm sorry to hear that. It'll get better."

She snickered and finished her drink.

"Bella!"

She swiveled on her stool.

"Jack!" she drunkenly exclaimed. "It's soooooo good to see you!"

"It's good to see you, too! I'm glad you came."

She patted the stool next to hers, signaling for him to sit. He obeyed.

"Thank you soooooo much for telling me about this place, Jack! I love it!"

He grinned at her with a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Oh, boy," Joe muttered and walked to the other end of the bar.

"You know, Bella, I know a place even _better_ than this one."

Her eyes widened in interest. "_Really?_ Where?"

"My house. You see," he started, "my parents are on a cruise for their anniversary. I have the house all. To. My. _Self_."

"_Wow._"

He nodded. "You wanna go?" Jack put a hand on her thigh and made circles with his thumb. Bella leaned over and put a hand on his arm.

"What would we do there?" Jack smirked and leaned down, closing the short distance between them, planting his lips on hers. Bella inhaled sharply from the surprise of it. However, she intoxicatedly responded and put her arms around his neck. Her reaction caused Jack to kiss her harder. He licked at her lips until she opened her mouth, granting him access. His tongue rubbed against hers as she let out a moan. All too quickly, she thought, he pulled away.

"So what do you say? Come home with me?"

She bit her lip and nodded.

"Good," he said, grabbing her hand. He threw a stack of bills on the counter to cover both of their tabs and led her to the door.

* * *

I think the song is pretty obvious, but here it is anyway:

"So the bartender who tends to pretend that's he 's concerned, says 'Girlie, girlie, you're at your best when you're sober', and she slurs 'No, no, just one more', and one turns into four, the fourth drink instinct is taking over, and the gentleman is leading her towards the door" - The Fourth Drink Instinct by Cute Is What We Aim For

* * *

Just to clear any confusion, they did go to Jack's house and have sex. Sorry folks, but it'll get better…eventually. Emmett didn't go back to college because of Bella. Duh. He wasn't just gonna leave her like that. Don't worry about a relationship between Jack and Bella. He's a one night stand kinda guy. And the name Palmson Road came from the fact that I'm laying on my bed and my sheets have palm trees on them. I don't know if there's a real Palmson Road in Forks.

Review, please.


	7. Chapter 5

So I realize and expected that some of you don't like or understand that Bella was so easy, but put yourself in her shoes. You've just had your heart broken by your best friend. The one person who's always held you when you cried is now the person responsible for your tears. You feel like a thousand needles are constantly injecting into your heart. You'd rather die than have to feel this way, to have to live this life. You go get drunk. When you're drunk, you don't really control what you say or do. I know from experience. Yeah, I'm too young to drink, but this is the 21st century. Anyway, you get drunk. A hot and seemingly nice guy offers to let you forget everything for one night. Forget the pain. Forget the guy that broke your heart. For one night, you feel whole again. I don't know about you, but I'd take that offer. Why? Because heartbreak sucks. Period.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I didn't get ten on the last chapter, but I took the reviews on the author's note in to account. However, there must be 10 reviews on this chapter for the next one to be posted. I'm already done with it so...it's up to you guys to get it posted. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

"Yesterday I lost my closest friend, yesterday I wanted time to end, I wonder if my heart will ever mend, I just let you slip away…All these words that I could never say, I just let them slip away, 4am forever, why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you, why don't you listen when I try to make it through to you, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, you never know, hold a little tighter, 4am forever" - 4am Forever by Lostprophets

* * *

Bella hugged herself as she hurried through the hallway to the cafeteria, trying her hardest to ignore the whispers. Everyone knew. That son of a bitch had come in school today gloating about their night together. Bella figured it was only a matter of time before Edward heard the rumors and questioned her about it. She was afraid he'd be disappointed in her. But who was he to be disappointed? God knew he'd had his fair share of one night stands. He couldn't get mad at her for having one.

"Bella?" Alice asked softly. "Do you want some of my sandwich?"

She hadn't gotten any lunch today. She felt sick because of what she'd done. It wasn't like her. She'd never drank or had sex before. _Killed two birds with one stone,_ she sneered.

"No thanks, Alice. I don't feel so good today."

Alice turned to look at Rosalie. Concern was evident on their faces.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?" requested Jasper. The girls all looked at Jasper confusedly. Sure, Bella and Jasper were friends, but they weren't as close as the rest of them were. Still, Bella nodded and got up, curious as to what he had to say. Jasper put a friendly hand on her back and led her into the empty hallway. When they got out of hearing range of anyone, Jasper turned to her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"The rumors are true, aren't they?" he softly inquired. There was no need to specify what rumor he was talking about.

Bella looked away from him, ashamed, and nodded.

"Oh, Bella…" Jasper gathered her in his arms as she started to cry.

"Jasper…" Her words were broken by sobs. "I didn't mean to…I was hurting…and he had told me about the…the bar…and I got really drunk…he was being so nice…I didn't realize what was happening until it was over."

He rubbed her back soothingly. "Shh, Bella, it's okay…it's okay…"

"It's not okay! I'm a…a…a _whore!_"

Jasper held her back and looked in her eyes. "Bella, listen to me," he said sternly. "You are not a whore. You were confused and that bastard took advantage of you. He knew you would go to the bar, he knew you would get drunk. He knew you'd go home with him. It's not your fault. It's Jack's…and Edward's. You. Are. Not. A. Whore. Understand?"

Bella sighed and went back into his arms, nodding against his chest. She wasn't fully convinced, but she knew there was no point in arguing. Jasper always wins.

"I know we aren't as close as you and Emmett or you and Edw-Alice…but I'm still your friend, Bella. I'm still here if you need me."

She looked up at him with a small smile.

"Now, why don't you go in there," he nodded to the ladies room, "and compose yourself then come back to lunch. Try to eat something."

"Okay."

She did as he said and accepted Alice's previous offer.

After lunch, Bella headed to her locker to get what she needed for her last few classes, only to discover that the last person she wanted to face was there waiting for her.

Edward. He was leaning attractively against her locker, his arms folded across his chest, resulting in his muscles pressing tightly against his shirt, and his left foot was up on its toes on the outside of his right foot. For a second, Bella forgot all the pain he had caused her and wanted nothing more than to go up and kiss him. Then he looked up at her.

Pain's back. He looked…disappointed. Just like she was scared of. She once again had to remind herself that he had no room to be disappointed in her for finally losing her virginity. He had told her where he lost his. At least she was in a bed. He was…well, never mind.

"Bella," he greeted as she planted herself in front of him.

"Hi," she said meekly.

"I think you already know what I'm gonna ask you."

Anger suddenly rose up in her. "And when did it become your business?"

He stared at her, taken aback.

"I don't want to talk about this, Edward." She opened her locker only to have it abruptly closed by Edward's hand. She turned to him, furious.

"It became my business when we decided to be best friends."

She chuckled without humor. "That was a long time ago."

"What? What do you mean? We're still best friends."

"That's what you think," she rebutted and started to walk away.

"Bella, wait!" He ran in front of her. "Bells, what's going on? Why are you acting like this? Not answering my phone calls, not talking to me at school. You're avoiding me, aren't you?"

Bella looked up at him. Big mistake. The pain etched on his face broke her heart into even more pieces. She remember that, to him, they were still best friends. He had no idea about her inner turmoil. She was hurting him. The realization caused her eyes to water. _He deserves it,_ she reminded herself.

"You wouldn't understand," she sadly answered.

"Help me to understand," he begged. "Tell me what to do to make it better."

"I wish it was that simple," Bella whispered. "But it's not."

"Bella-"

"I have to go to class. Goodbye, Edward." As she walked away, she finally let the tears fall, painfully ignoring him as he yelled after her.

* * *

Bella barely paid any attention in her next classes. It was killing her to know she was hurting him. _Look what he did to you!,_ her mind argued. _He broke your fucking heart! He deserves to feel some pain!_

_But he doesn't know,_ her heart debated. _He would've never hurt you if he knew you loved him. He never meant to put you through this. You're his best friend. He'd do anything to take the pain away._

The inner quarrel went on for the rest of the school day.

Until she saw him.

He had Amber pressed against the lockers and was nipping at her neck, much like when she saw them at the park. Bella's eyes filled with tears for what seemed like the thousandth time that week. Her chest once again tightened. _You see,_ she thought. _He's perfectly fine without you. Make him hurt. Let him wallow with pain. _Hurt _him._

Bella ran outside to where she knew Emmett was waiting. She hastily, and clumsily, got in his Jeep.

"Let's go," she barked.

Emmett looked at her with creased eyebrows. "Bella, what's-"

"Just go, Emmett!" She looked over at him and immediately felt regret. He had been nothing but a friend to her, a brother. He didn't deserve to be the victim of her anger. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. It's been a long day. Can you please just take me home?"

He nodded with apprehension. When they got to Bella's house, she jumped out of the car, yelling a quick "bye" to Emmett. He debated whether or not to follow her inside, but decided she needed time to be alone and left.

Bella did her homework in record time before running out of the house, telling Charlie she was going to study with a friend for the night. He mumbled an intelligible response.

A mischievous grin broke out on her face when she reached her goal. All her previous thoughts about being a whore or making a mistake were shoved aside. She quickly went in and sat on the same stool as she had the night before.

"Back so soon?" asked Joe.

She nodded. "It's time for payback, Joe. Giving him a taste of his own medicine. He's making me suffer so it's time he knew what it was like."

The bartender raised his eyebrows and muttered, "This isn't gonna end well…Alright, girlie, what can I get'cha?"

"Whatever I had last night. It works wonders."

"Comin' right up."

Before she knew it, Bella was being led out the door by the captain of the soccer team.

* * *

Hm, I'm starting to feel a little bad for Edward. He's so clueless. But I still feel horrible for Bella so…we gotta torture Edward for a little bit.

Let's see, any questionable things I need to explain…Oh! I guarantee you that Bella is not going to get pregnant. That's too cliché for me. And I know you probably hate me for turning Bella into, well, a whore, but it'll all end happy. I promise.

I also have to admit that I think this chapter seemed a little rushed…What do you think?

Oh, and about the song. I couldn't decide whether, in my mind, I wanted it to be in Bella or Edward's point of view. I could understand it from both, seeing as we now know that Edward is feeling pain to some extent, too. Maybe you could look up the rest of the lyrics, give it a listening to, and tell me what you think?

Review, please.


	8. Chapter 6

Thanks for all the reviews! I was going to wait until tomorrow afternoon to post this, but I was finished with it and I wanted to post it SO BAD! So I was like, they reviewed nicely so why not?

I will reveal that BELLA AND EDWARD WILL END UP TOGETHER. Any other way would just be…wrong. Stick around for the ride!

Oh, and let me say again that the whole story is going to be from 3rd person point of view. I know that I mostly focus on Bella. I promise there will be a few chapters that I focus on Edward.

* * *

"Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight, I know he's there, you're probably hanging out, and making eyes, while across the room, he stares, I'll be he gets the nerve to walk the floor, and ask my girl to dance, she'll say 'yes', because these words were never easier for me to say, or her to second guess, but I guess, that I can live without you, but without you, I'll be miserable at best…and this'll be the first time in a week, that I'll talk to you, and I can't speak, it's been 3 whole days since I've had sleep, 'cause that dream of his lips on your cheek, and I got the point that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I'm not that strong…" - Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade. Seriously, guys, I love this song to death. It's one of my favorites. Ever.

* * *

_2 Months Later_

"Hey, Bella."

"Looking good, Bella."

"Can't wait for round two, Bella."

All comments she was now used to hearing. Her wardrobe had changed completely. It was mostly like Rosalie's only it…revealed a little more. It was the way the boys liked it. Bella had slept with just about every captain there was. Football, basketball, soccer, golf, wrestling (twice), baseball, lacrosse, hockey…everyone but the captain of the chess team. He was more interested in boys these days.

As Bella stood at her locker, two arms positioned themselves on either side of her shoulders, lazily gripping the lockers beside hers.

She clicked her tongue. "Hm…Let me guess…Ricky? No, no…Alex? No, he's tanner than that…Oh! I know. Justin."

"Wrong."

She gasped. She'd recognize that velvety smooth voice anywhere. She turned to face him.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"The same thing I've wanted for 2 months. To talk. Only this time, " he moved his body closer to her, "you can't run away." He ignored the sudden desire that ripped through his body.

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide the fact that she wanted to pull his body even closer. "Can we at least go somewhere a little more private?" Bella asked, knowing there was no point in arguing. He had her trapped.

"Sure," he answered. He put his arms down, but was quick to grab forearm. She faked an annoyed expression, inwardly loving the feeling of his skin on hers. He dragged her to a secluded bench and pulled her down with him as he sat, making sure to never let go of her. He began to stare at her. Bella sat, waiting for him to say something. He was silent.

"You wanted to talk so talk!"

He continued to gaze at her.

"Oh my God, Edward, why are you staring at me?"

"Because I'm waiting," he simply replied.

"For what?!"

He suddenly shot out of his seat and turned to her. "For you to explain what the hell has gotten in to you! Look at you, Bella! That's not you! You're having sex with every fucking captain there is!"

"So?"

He turned to her with his mouth agape. "So what _happened_, Bella? You were gonna save yourself for marriage. You were gonna wait for your 21st birthday to drink. What happened that made you change so drastically?"

She stared at the ground and shrugged. There was no way she was going to tell him the real reason. She heard him sigh, exasperated. She opened her mouth to say something sharp, but then-

"Bella."

Her head snapped up at the tone of his voice. It held so much pain, so much agony. Her own pain intensified as she realized his eyes were watering.

"Bells…I miss you. Whatever this is, whatever happened, I wanna help. Tell me what to do, Bella. I'll do anything to have you back. Tell me what happened, Bella. Please. I'm begging you."

The lump that had been absent for months suddenly rose again in her throat. His voice was cracking. _Because of her._

"I can't," she whispered. Tears started to fall down her cheeks, mascara coming down with them. Edward knelt down in front of her and took her face in his hands. He wiped her teardrops away with his thumbs.

"Bella," she could feel his breath on her lips as he softly spoke, "Bella, please. I need you. I need my best friend back."

He had done it. The words "best friend" brought back all of her pain. She was reminded of all the grief he had caused, all the hurt, all the heartbreak. She shook her head and abruptly stood up.

"Your best friend died a long time ago," she said and walked away. It was true. There was no Bells anymore. Just Bella. Bells diminished when he shattered her heart. She didn't let herself look back. She knew whatever painful expression his face currently held would make her run back to him. She couldn't let that happen.

Instead, she ran to the bar.

* * *

"Something wrong, darlin'? You've been here two hours and you haven't even finished up your first drink."

She sighed. "I don't know, Joe. I just…something in me won't let me pick it up."

"Something happen at school today?" Joe asked.

Bella shrugged and told him about the conversation she had with Edward.

"Ah, I see…" he trailed. "You feel bad. All this is hurting Edward, something you've always tried to prevent. Which probably also explains your sudden change in wardrobe. Again." Before going to the bar, Bella had went home and changed her clothes. She was now wearing what she used to wear. An old Beatles t-shirt, faded jeans, and Chucks.

"I guess," she replied. "Joe, I don't know what to do...What do you think I should do?"

Joe shrugged and leaned over the counter. "Lemme ask you something. This Edward. Bronze hair, pale skin, fit body, green eyes, right?"

Bella nodded with her brows furrowed. "Why do you ask?"

"Because he's been staring at you for an hour."

Bella rotated on the spinning stool and spotted him. Sure enough, his gaze was solely on her. Anger rose up in her as she realized she was being spied on. Bella got up and marched over to him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked sharply. Edward raised an eyebrow and nodded down to his drink.

"No, you are _not_ here just here for a drink. You're spying on me, aren't you?"

He shrugged. "Just wanted to see you play your game."

"Ugh! You are so…ugh!"

"I'm so what, Bella?" He stood up. His chair made a loud screeching sound on the floor as he scooted it back. "What am I, Bella? I'll tell you what. I'm a son. I'm a brother. I'm a boyfriend. I'm _your best friend._ I'm here to make sure you don't get hurt."

"It's too late for that!" she yelled.

"See, now we're getting somewhere! Finally! You got hurt. By who? What happened?"

She shook her head and replied, "I realized something."

"Realized what?" he pressed.

"It's none of your business." She started to walk away, but he grabbed her arm.

"To hell it's none of my business!" They only then noticed that everyone in the bar was staring at them interestedly. "Why don't we go somewhere a little less public?"

She scowled at him. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I don't want to!"

He sighed and looked up at her, pain once again etched on his face. _Oh, great,_ she thought. _I'm done for._

"_What happened,_ Bella?" he asked desperately.

Her only reply was a shake of her head.

"Tell me what happened!" he exclaimed, fury returned. "What happened that made you like this?! What did you realize?! What could've been so bad that you would just turn into…whatever it is that you are now? What the fuck did you realize, Isabella?! What. Did. You. Real-"

"That I'm in love with you!" she screamed. The tears and the lump were back again. Edward finally let go of her arm and stepped back from shock. He looked at all the faces in the bar, discovering that none of them held surprise. His gaze found it's way back to Bella's face. He kept opening his mouth as if to say something, but he couldn't even think straight. It didn't make sense. Bella, his best friend since they were 4, was in love with him?

He couldn't even yell for her to come back as she ran out the door.

After standing rooted on the spot for God knows how long, he turned to the bar and looked up at Joe.

"She's…?"

Joe nodded, providing the confirmation he was asking for. Edward just sat there for the rest of the night. Knives stabbed at him repeatedly as he realized he was the cause of this. Of everything. The avoiding, the promiscuousness, the drinking, it all made sense now. Her heart was broken. Because of _him_. How could he have been so blind? Everyone else knew, obviously. He hated himself. He despised himself for doing this to Bella. He didn't know what he could possibly say to her to fix this. Was he in love with her? Who knows. He was too confused to try to figure that out tonight. He was in too much pain.

_I deserve this_, he thought. _I deserve to feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest._

When he got home, his parents were waiting up for him. They quickly stood up from the loveseat as he came in.

"Edward, where in the world have you been? You know you aren't supposed to be out after 11 on a school night. What could've been so urg-"

"Carlisle, wait," Esme interrupted as she saw Edward's expression.

He was broken.

"Edward, honey, is everything alright?"

He had to swallow back a sob before answering.

"She's-she's in love with me," he whispered. His voice cracked. "She's in love with me and I just…God, I-I killed her. I drove her to alcohol and-and sex."

He finally looked up to his parents with tears flowing down his pale cheeks.

"Mom, I broke my best friend's heart."

* * *

So I don't know whether to say "Yay! Edward knows!" or "Aw, Edward's in a lot of pain." So I'll just say both.

Review!


	9. Chapter 7

Thank you so much for all of your reviews! One of you had an idea that Bella should have another love interest. I understand why you would want that, but that's just not where this story is going to go. Don't get me wrong, it's a great idea and if I didn't already have the outline completed, I might've done it. But I already know where the story is going and a love interest just doesn't fit in. But thank you for your idea! I hope you like the story anyway without a love interest for Bella. Well, besides Edward, of course. You have to understand that Bella is completely and irrevocably in love with Edward. Even if there was a guy interested in her, she wouldn't notice nor would she care. She's in too much pain to think about having another guy. But, again, thank you for the input! Enjoy the chapter!

Oh, and I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday. My brother and brother-in-law went to get motorcyles so we were at the sales lot from 11 am to 6 pm. We were too tired to drive back home so we ended up staying at my best friend's house so I didn't have my laptop. I don't know if there will be an update tomorrow because I've barely started the next chapter (since I obviously didn't have time) and I'm currently exhausted from my long weekend. I didn't fall asleep until 2:30 last night then my friend's sister's baby started crying at 8 this morning so I didn't get much sleep then we went to church and from church we went straight to a baby shower. So I'm sorry in advanced if I don't get the next chapter up tomorrow.

* * *

"After all this time, I never thought we'd be here, never thought we'd be here, when my love for you was blind, but I couldn't make you see it, couldn't make you see it, that I loved you more than you will ever know, a part of me died when I let you go" - Blind by Lifehouse. This song is what the story was named after, obviously.

* * *

Edward woke up as his alarm buzzed loudly in his ear. He didn't want to get up. He felt as though he couldn't. He didn't deserve to be able to get up after what he had done to Bella. When he looked in the mirror, he noticed his eyes were puffy and his cheeks tear-stained. He felt unmanly after crying himself to sleep, but he really didn't care about being macho right now.

At school, he felt like he was moving in slow motion as everyone sped around him. He thought Amber had come up to him a few times, but he couldn't remember. All of his thoughts were focused on Bella, how he had hurt her, how he had made her what she is now. He sat down in the auditorium in an isolated seat. Edward didn't want to be around anyone. They all knew what had happened, seeing as half of them were at the bar last night. They would all pester him, and he couldn't take that right now. He already felt like he was dying.

Graduation practice started today. He looked at around until he spotted Bella. She was sitting with Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper with her arms crossed as she stared at the ground. The gang was speaking in hushed tones to each other. He saw Jasper glance over at him and briefly wondered why he didn't say anything to the girls about him staring.

"Alright, kids, I want everyone to go line up on that wall. When I call your name, come stand where I point. Go line up!" the coordinator called.

Edward got up and walked toward where Bella was standing.

"Don't you dare," a voice warned from behind him.

"Emmett, what the hell are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I'm making sure you don't mess with Bella. You've screwed her up enough, Edward. Nothing you say is going to make this any better."

Edward sighed. "Em, I can't just do nothing. She's my best friend."

"Exactly."

Edward stared at him confusedly.

"Dude, she doesn't_ want_ to be your best friend. She's _in love_ with you. When she hears you say that she's your best friend, a part of her dies. The best thing you can do right now is to stay away from her." His insides tied up in knots.

"But-"

"Edward." Emmett took a step closer to him and threatened, "If you try to talk to her, I will mess you up. You're my little brother, but she's my little sister, and she's hurting. Because of you. Right now, to me, you're the guy that broke my baby sister's heart. Stay away from her. Got it?"

Edward sighed again and nodded. He knew Emmett was right. Even if he did talk to Bella, he wouldn't know what to say. What do you tell your best friend that's in love with you? His heart started to shatter as he realized that this could be it. He might of lost her. Bella would never forget that he broke her heart. The thought made his own tear in two.

"Good," Emmett finally said. "I'll be right over there." He pointed to a distant chair. "I'll see you if you try anything." With that, he walked to where he had previously indicated.

Edward looked at Bella. She had been staring at the exchange, most likely trying to pick up what they were saying. When she noticed Edward was gazing at her, she quickly moved her attention back to the floor. Every fiber in his being wanted to walk over to her, to gather her in his arms. He wanted to stroke her hair and tell her everything was going to be alright. He wanted to hold her and never let go.

Despite what his core was longing for, he walked to the other end of the line, his heart cracking with every step he took.

* * *

At lunch, Edward didn't know where to sit. He definitely couldn't sit at Bella's table and he wouldn't dare sit with Amber. He couldn't bear to be with her if it was making Bella suffer. He started to walk to an empty table when he felt a rough tug on his sleeve. He turned to the furious face of Rosalie.

"We need to talk," she growled.

He sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and followed her into the deserted hallway.

"Do you realize what you did to her?"

The knives returned their stabbing as everything went through his mind. "I know, Rose."

"No, I don't think you do. Edward, you didn't just hurt her. You didn't just break her heart. You _killed_ her. A part of her is dead. She doesn't even know who she is anymore. That girl sitting at the table is not Bella. She's a freaking zombie. I don't even think she breathes anymore. She just sits there, staring into nowhere. If she's not doing that, she's hysterical. You took a part of her that she can never get back. _Nothing _is ever going to fill the hole you drilled in her heart. She-"

"I know, Rose!" he yelled. "I _know_! And it kills me to know those things! I want nothing more than to take all the pain away, to fill the hole. But I don't know how! And Emmett won't even let me talk to her!"

He slid down the wall and put his face in his hands.

"Are you in love with her?"

He looked up. "What?"

"Are you in love with Bella?" Rosalie softly asked again.

Edward stared off into space, wrapped up in his thoughts.

"I don't know," he truthfully answered.

"Then there's _nothing_ you can do to make this better," she hissed, the tenderness of her voice clearly gone. "So do us all a favor and stay away from her!" Her heels clicked as she walked away.

Edward exhaled and leaned his head against the wall. They all seemed to understand that Bella's heart was broken.

Why didn't they understand that his was too?

* * *

Edward looked over to Alice as she arrived at her locker. The school assigned lockers in alphabetical order by last name so hers was right next to his.

"You gonna yell at me, too?"

She showed no sign that she heard him.

"Alice?"

She continued to put books in her locker.

"Okay, so you're gonna ignore me? Is that it?"

She still pretended she didn't hear him.

"I guess that's my answer," Edward muttered.

Alice slammed her with tremendous force and walked away. _Better than getting yelled at,_ he thought.

"Edward."

He turned at the sound of Jasper's calm voice.

"Look, Jazz, if you're gonna yell at me, I already-"

"I'm not gonna yell at you. I just wanna talk."

Edward raised his eyebrows in surprise, but soon remembered that Jasper had never been the yelling type. He followed Jasper out to the bench that he had taken Bella to the day before.

"So," Jasper started, "I'm guessing no one's asked you how you're feeling, have they?"

Edward shook his head.

"How are you feeling, Edward?"

He inhaled deeply and looked at everything around him before answering.

"With every breath I take, it's like a little piece of my heart breaks off. But, somehow, I feel like I _can't_ breathe. Like I don't _deserve_ to breathe after everything I put Bella through. I feel like I'm awake during open-heart surgery. Like incisions are being made constantly, over and over again. I feel like I ran 20 miles without stopping. I'm exhausted. I'm…I'm falling apart, Jasper. And I don't think there's any way to be put back together."

Jasper nodded.

"Why doesn't anyone see that I'm in pain, too?" Edward asked despairingly.

"I think…it's just that everyone sees you as the bad guy, Edward. We've watched Bella over the past couple months, going through all of this, knowing it was because of you. People want to see you hurting," he replied sadly. "I know this must be bad, Edward. I know it must hurt and I know this is hard for you. But you have to stay away from her, for now. She needs some time. If you want to help her, the best thing you can do is let her be. I know you don't want to, but there's nothing you can say right now that's going to fix this."

"I know," Edward whispered as the blades carried on gnawing at his soul, successfully tearing it into shreds.

"And," Jasper added with a smirk, "it _might_ help if you break things off with Amber."

Edward chuckled. "As far as I'm concerned, me and her are done. There's no way I could be with her when I know it's hurting Bella."

Jasper put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be tough for a while. Hearts aren't fixed as easily as they're broken. But don't give up hope, Edward. You haven't lost her yet. No matter how much pain you put her through, she still loves you. I can tell. And who knows," Jasper looked at him with a small smile, "maybe you'll realize you're in love with her, too."

He shrugged. "Maybe."

The blonde stood up and turned to Edward with a thoughtful expression. "I just hope it's not too late when you do," he said quietly and walked away, leaving Edward to his thoughts.

He could be in love with her, he mused. Maybe he was just so used to how he felt for her that he didn't realize it was love. But what if it was already too late? What if Jasper was wrong and he had already lost Bella? The thought made his heart crumble. He couldn't lose Bella; she was his best friend. He knew that he at least loved her in that way. Edward leaned forward to cradle his head in his hands as he whispered in a broken voice,

"But what if it's not enough?"

* * *

Aw, poor Edward. Don't worry. It'll get better…sometime.

About Emmett being at graduation practice…he's just good like that. Teachers and administrators just don't notice him lollygagging. Seriously, would you kick Emmett out if he was hanging around? I sure as hell wouldn't. And about him saying that Bella is his little sister, well, she is to him. That's how he sees her.

And this is totally random, but I freakin' love Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb. I'm too old to be watching little kid Disney Channel shows, but I love that damn platypus! He's so funny looking! Okay, I'm done with my weird obsession of the day.

Don't forget to review!


	10. Chapter 8

Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I do have to admit that I absolutely loved Jasper in the last chapter, as some of your reviews said. Jasper's got that whole "sensative to people's emotions" thing so he knew Edward wasn't fine. I love Jasper. He's grown on me. And I was obviously able to finish this chapter last night. I took a 3 hour nap so I was wide awake with nothing to do since everyone was sleeping. So I wrote. Yay!

Um, I cried while writing this chapter so if you're emotional like me…you might wanna grab some Kleenex.

* * *

"I choke back each tear that bleeds, I'd rather rest forever in your arms, I'd rather stay than go, but I know that I should leave…it's hard to give up the one you'd never thought you'd leave, don't go, don't go, your eyes, they see through, my soul, don't go, don't go, you say as I walk out your door, with the sounds of the ocean crashing, 7:30, Friday evening, everything comes tumbling down" - August In Bethany by The Juliana Theory. This is my favorite song. Ever.

* * *

"Today's the day, Bella! You're graduating!" Charlie exclaimed as he burst in her room. He wasn't the best wake up call around. Bella hadn't talked to Edward for two weeks. She had caught him staring at her a few times, but he never came over. Was it really _that_ revolting that she was in love with him?

"Okay, I'm awake," she grumbled as she got out of bed. Her eyes watered as she remembered what she was going to do today. But she had to. It was her only option. She couldn't take any more pain. There were no pieces of her heart left to shatter. She had to do this_. _She_ would_ do this.

When she got to the school, the tightening in her chest severely worsened. She saw Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme. They had been with her through everything, protected her, comforted her. Bella hoped "heartbreak" was a foreign word at her new home…wherever that was. She wasn't quite sure yet. All she knew was that tomorrow at 7:30 pm, she was getting on a plane and leaving Forks. She couldn't stay here. Everything carried a memory, memories she couldn't bear to be reminded of everyday.

As Bella stood to receive her certificate, she made the mistake of glancing at Edward. He was staring at her intently with so much pain etched on his face that Bella's heart broke _for_ him. She broke the gaze and went up to the stage. Bella had already told everyone she was leaving, except for Edward. Jasper was going to do that tomorrow after her plane left ground. She felt her heart tear once again as she pictured Edward's face as Jasper was telling him. He wouldn't believe it at first. He'd accuse Jasper of lying, even though that was a ridiculous thought. Then he'd stand up and yell at Jasper to tell him where she was going. Good thing Bella hadn't told anyone. At the realization that she was gone, Edward would break. He'd crumble. He'd fall to the floor and put his head in his hands, sobbing all the while. Bella shook her head to clear the thoughts. If she continued to dwell on them, she wasn't sure she'd be able to leave. And she _had_ to leave.

After the graduation ceremony and saying tearful goodbyes to everyone, Bella knew she had one more person to see. She glanced at Edward one final time and started to run an all too familiar path.

* * *

"Hey, girlie! What'cha doin' here so early?"

Bella smiled and sat down on her favorite stool.

"Well, Joe, I actually came to say goodbye."

He looked at her with a confused expression. "What do you mean 'goodbye'?"

"I'm leaving, Joe. I can't stay here."

Joe sighed and looked at her sympathetically. He had been with this girl through everything. He had watched her heart break, bit by bit. If anyone understood that she couldn't stay here, it was Joe. He leaned across the bar.

"I'm gonna take a stab at it and guess that you didn't tell Edward."

She shook her head.

"Bella, you need to tell him."

Her head whipped up to look at Joe. "No, I don't. Jasper's gonna do it."

"He doesn't need to hear it from Jasper. He needs to hear it from you."

"I can't, Joe."

"You can't what?"

"I can't tell Edward goodbye," she whispered with a cracking voice.

Her tone made a small tug at Joe's heart. "I know it'll be hard, darlin', but if you want him to leave you alone, you have to tell him. Jasper tellin' him won't give him closure. He'll chase after you, he'll try to find you. He'll never let go of you. But," he took a deep breath, "if you tell him, he might let you be. Losing your best friend is the worst thing in the world. If you love him, and I'm sure you do, you won't make him go through all the pain that he put you through."

"Why shouldn't I?" she asked angrily. "Why shouldn't he get a taste of what I've been through the past few months?"

"I think he already has, Bella. And I think you know that."

Bella looked up at him as tears started to stream down her face.

"Darlin', you gotta realize somethin'. When you get on that plane, you're both goin' to experience the worst and greatest amount of pain possible. I know it sure don't seem like it, but Edward deserves a goodbye. He deserves closure."

"Why?"

"Because he's still your best friend."

Bella sighed. "He's gonna beg me to stay."

"Of course he is. He doesn't want you to leave. He's gonna beg and plead and cry and fight and a million other things. Losing you is his worst fear, sweetheart. But you gotta do what you gotta do. So go do it."

"Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow. I've had to do enough goodbyes today. I don't think I can take another one, especially when it's Edward."

Joe nodded as Bella stood up. She leaned over the bar to hug him. "Goodbye, Joe. And thank you. For everything."

He lightly kissed her forehead. "You take care of yourself, kid."

"I will. Bye, Joe."

"Goodbye, darlin'."

When Bella got home, Jasper was waiting for her in her room. She noticed the window was open.

"Charlie would probably let you in the front door, you know."

He shrugged and said with a grin, "Doors are no fun."

Bella chuckled.

"So," his tone became serious, "how do you want me to do this?"

Bella sat on the bed next to him. "Actually, I think…I'm gonna do it."

He looked at her with concern. "Are you sure you can?"

Bella shook her head. "No. But I have to. No matter what, he's still my best friend. He deserves a goodbye."

Jasper nodded. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, both wrapped up in their own thoughts.

"Jasper?" Bella asked quietly. "How do you say goodbye to your best friend that you also happen to be in love with?" She started to cry. Jasper took her in his arms and rubbed her back soothingly. They stayed like that for a while until Jasper pulled back to look at her.

"There's no good way to do that, Bella. You just have to go to him and say what comes to your mind. It's going to hurt. You're going to cry. Half of you isn't going to want to leave...There's not much I can say right now, Bella. I can't prepare you for this. There's no way to prepare you for this."

She nodded. "I know. Do you think you could just…hold me tonight?" Bella and Jasper had gotten much closer through this whole ordeal so she didn't feel awkward asking him such a question.

"Of course," he whispered and gathered her in his arms once again, his own heart breaking as he thought of what would happen tomorrow.

* * *

For this section of the chapter, I listened to a different song. "Losing you is like living in a world with no air…my world revolves around you, it's so hard for me to breathe, tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air, can't live, can't breathe with no air, that's how I feel whenever you ain't there, it's no air, no air, got me out here in the water so deep, tell me how you gonna be without me, if you ain't here, I just can't breathe, it's no air, no air" - No Air by Jordin Sparks ft. Chris Brown. I like the acoustic version better so that's what I was listening to.

* * *

Bella drove to the Cullen household with a heavy heart. Her breath varied from hyperventilation to not breathing at all. She didn't know how she was going to do this. She didn't know how to live without Edward. Even now, though their relationship was strained, she knew he would be there in a heartbeat if she needed him. She put her forehead against the steering wheel as she parked, concentrating on inhaling and exhaling. She was there. No turning back now. With one final exhale, she got out of her truck.

Edward was out the door before she had even reached the porch. Seeing him made her breath catch her throat. She stopped and closed her eyes. _Walk up to him,_ Bella told herself.

She didn't have to. When she opened her eyes, Edward was standing right in front of her. Being up this close made her realize just how much pain he was in. He had bags under his eyes from sleepless nights and they held so much agony that Bella's heart broke even more, which she had thought to be impossible. He raised his hand as if to stroke her face, but decided against it. He knew Emmett was watching from his window.

"Bella," he breathed in a broken whisper. "Bella, I'm so…I'm so sorry. I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't…I had no idea. I never wanted to-"

"I'm leaving, Edward," she interjected.

"No, Bella, please. Just-just stay for, like, 10 minutes. Talk."

She shook her head. "I don't mean I'm leaving your house."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't understand."

Bella took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the ground. "I'm leaving Forks."

"For…for vacation?"

"No, Edward! I'm not taking a damn vacation! I'm _leaving_!"

He stared at her. He still didn't get it. He didn't _want_ to get it.

She sighed exasperatedly. "I'm leaving and _never coming back_."

He felt a fresh stab of pain. "You-you can't just leave."

She raised her eyebrows. "My plane takes off at 7:30 tonight."

His eyes widened in realization. "Holy fuck, you're serious."

She nodded.

"N-no, Bella, why would you do that?"

"_Why would I do that_?" she repeated angrily. "I would do that because you broke my fucking heart, Edward! Everything here reminds me of _you_! Everything I look at brings back some stupid memory and makes me feel like I can't breathe! My fucking _room_ smells like you!"

"Bella, I never meant to hurt you. That's…that's the last thing I _ever_ wanted to do."

"It doesn't matter what you wanted to do, Edward. Because it happened. Hell, it's still happening right now!"

Another hole drilled in his heart. "I'm sorry, Bella. But you don't have to leave-"

"Yes, I do!" she shouted. "I can't take any more pain. I can't do it." She only then noticed that she'd been crying the whole time.

"Just-just let me help. Tell me what to do to take the pain away. Tell me how to make this better. I'll do anything," he pleaded.

"Nothing can fix this, Edward." They both felt the same jolt of heartbreak at the realization.

"Bella, please don't go." His voice was breaking. "Bella, please. I can't live without you."

A fresh wave of tears started to fall down her face. "I can't live without you either," she whispered. "But I have to." Tears now filled Edward's eyes. He walked closer to her and took her face in his hands. They experienced the fine line between pleasure and pain at the touch of each others skin.

"Bella, please. I can't…I can't breathe without you here. I can't wake up without knowing that you're only a few miles away." His thumbs wiped at her teardrops.

"Edward, we've always breathed together. We've always lived together. We have to learn to do things on our own now."

He shook his head violently. "No, we don't."

"Edward, you have to let me go." _No!_, her heart screamed. _Don't let me go! Beg me to stay! Tell me you love me! Make me stay!_

"I can't."

"Edward-"

"No, Bella," he said as tears fell down his face. "You aren't going anywhere."

"Yes, I am."

Edward bit his lip and shook his head again. "Bella, please. I need you." He wasn't sure how exactly he meant those words, but he knew they were true. He knew his heart was breaking with every tear that fell from her eye.

She shook her head sadly. "I have to go."

He moved his hands from her face to intertwine their fingers. "No, Bella, please." Their cores were being pierced ceaselessly.

"Let me go, Edward," she said softy as her heart continued to scream the opposite.

He shook his head, unable to form words anymore. She tried to pull his hands from his, but his grip was firm.

"Edward, let go." He continued to shake his head. Bella looked up and saw Jasper and Emmett in the window. She gestured for them to come down. When they got there, Emmett started to pry Edward's hands out of hers.

"Let her go, Edward," Jasper whispered. A sob escaped Edward's lips.

Emmett finally got Edward to let go of Bella's hands and stood in front of him with his hands on his chest.

"Goodbye, Edward," Bella said softly.

He was still shaking his head. "Bella, no."

"I love you." She watched as his bottom lip began to quiver. With one last look in his eyes, she started to walk away to her truck.

"Bella, no!" he cried. "Don't do this! Please!" Emmett held him back as he tried to run to her.

Everything in her said to turn around. Hold him and don't let him go. Take away his pain. Don't leave. Stay with him.

She ignored the pleas of his mouth, and of her soul, and drove away.

* * *

_7:30_.

Bella and Edward both let out an excruciating sob as her plane left the ground, their hearts breaking in unison for one last time.

* * *

Aw, man. I was a flipping basket case while writing this chapter. Don't worry, this isn't the end. Their hearts are gonna break again. I'm kind of running out of ways to describe how they feel so be prepared for some repeated material, maybe just worded differently. If you have any ways to describe being broken hearted that I haven't used yet, please include them in your review or send me a PM.

Don't forget to review!


	11. Chapter 9

Thanks again for faithfully reviewing guys! Good news: everything is pretty much uphill from here! Man, I'm gonna miss torturing them. To semi quote Stephenie Meyer, it's fun to torture your characters. Oh well. I'll have fun making them happy. It won't be right away, but it's coming, kiddies! Oh, and I must credit dynamite69 for one of the sentences in the first paragraph. Thank you so much!

* * *

"I guess I'm trying to say I'm sorry, but it always comes out wrong, I think a part of you still loves me, even though we're moving on…and I'm sorry for what happened, but I want you there to see, that I'm changing all my actions, I don't wanna set you free…I'm waiting for you, give me answers, get me through, I will wait, always, all ways, I wanted us to be, always, all ways, you and me, and I wait here on my own, and I wait for you to see, all the time I spend alone now won't comfort me" - Always, All Ways (Apologies, Glances, And Messed Up Chances) by Lostprophets

* * *

_3 months later_

Bella gasped as a flutter of pain drifted through her. She rolled her eyes. She should be used to it by now, right? It comes every morning, the second she wakes up. It was usually the only thing she felt all day. Ever since her departure, the gaping hole that once was on fire with desire and love for Edward now felt as if it were completely void and numb. Edward had always been the origin of her emotions. Happiness, sadness, heartbreak, even boredom. Without him with her, she couldn't feel anything. And she didn't even care.

Bella ran a hand through her hair as she looked at her nightstand. There was a note from some guy in her Calculus class asking her to go to lunch with him sometime. He didn't nag her about it, he was good-looking, and she hadn't heard of him being one to sleep around, but everytime she considered accepting his offer, her attention turned to the picture next to the note. It was taken almost 3 years ago when Bella and Edward were 16. They were laying in his bed, which wasn't a rare sight to see back then. Bella was curled against Edward's chest and his arm was draped lazily around her shoulders. To an onlooker, it would appear that they were a couple. Bella's chest tightened at the reminder that they weren't. They were just friends. Well, they really weren't much of anything anymore, but still. The picture and the sweater Bella was currently wearing were her only reminders of Edward. The sweater was his. She took it in 11th grade after spending the night once. Bella didn't know why she had taken it at the time, but she was happy that she had.

Bella pushed the habitual morning thoughts aside and got up to get ready to go to the library. Her first semester had started this week and she already had loads of homework to do, even though it was only Wednesday. _That's Harvard for you,_ she mused. She hadn't told anyone that she got accepted into the rigorous university. When she had gotten the letter, she had no desire to come here, but then everything happened, and it was farthest away. And she _needed_ to be far away.

As Bella walked, she routinely checked her phone for messages. A part of her always wished Edward would call. He did, for a while. It seemed that he gave up after about 6 weeks. Bella never had the guts to answer. Hearing his voice would put her on a plane back to Forks in a heartbeat.

She watched everyone that passed her by. Usually, she would feel stabs of jealousy when she saw couples walking by hand in hand, but, once again, she didn't feel much of anything these days. Bella got to the library and sat at an empty table. She had 3 essays to write by Monday, seeing as her major was English. She took out all the supplies she would need and opened her book, but she suddenly couldn't concentrate. Something…strange shot through her. She looked all around the room for a cause of the weird feeling, but no one was staring at her and she didn't recognize anyone the slightest bit. She shrugged and looked back at her book.

Thoughts of Edward started swimming in her head again. What college had he decided to go to? Probably Dartmouth. He had always wanted to go there. She wondered if he ever thought of her, if he had did as she said and let her go. Half of her hoped that he had. That he'd moved on and found someone. The other half prayed that he didn't. That he'd somehow find out where she was and come sweep her off her feet. _Fat chance,_ she cogitated. _Focus, Bella, focus._ After a while of writing, she decided to go get a thesaurus. There were way too many repeated words in her paper, seeing as Bella had never had a vast vocabulary.

She got up and went over to the reference section, scanning through the shelves until she found the thesauruses. She stared at them for a moment. How were you supposed to know which one to pick? There were hundreds of different ones. She finally settled on one with a common name and took it off the shelf. As she looked up to her left, the book slipped through her hands.

Bella winced as it hit her foot, the sight enabling her to feel pain for the first time in months.

* * *

Edward checked his watch as he got out of class. He had an hour before his next one started and it was only a 10 minute walk. He looked around until he spotted the library. _Nothing better to do,_ he reasoned.

Edward didn't know why he chose to go to Harvard for Pre-Med. Everyone had expected him to go to Dartmouth, something he had always dreamed of, but some force had lured him to Harvard. He remembered a conversation he and Bella had once-

Bella. _Bella_. He sharply inhaled as the pain briefly overtook him. It was always there, constantly nagging, but it wasn't until he thought of her that he actually noticed it. Worry overwhelmed him as he wondered where she was, how she was doing. Everyone in Forks insisted that they had no idea where she flew off to. Edward had spent hours searching her house, looking for something, anything that gave a clue to her location, but he found nothing. He had tried to call her for weeks with no success. She never answered. Jasper had talked to him after a while and told him as gently as possible that he might actually have to let her go, and that ceasing his phone calls was the first step. Edward did as Jasper said, but the strings on his heart were still firmly attached to hers.

Edward stopped walking and pulled out his wallet. In it was a picture of him and Bella. Unbeknownest to him, it was the same one that Bella had sitting on her nightstand. One day when Alice had dragged Bella to the mall, Edward was sitting in his room looking for something to do. His eyes had landed on the picture. It was his favorite therefore he wanted to be able to look at it whenever he wanted to so he picked it up and took it to get a copy in wallet-size. Edward figured that since he had it with him all the time, he could give the original to Bella. She had accepted it excitingly and put it in her room.

He couldn't quite describe the emotions that rushed through him as he stared at the photograph. At first, he felt warm and content. The feelings he had experienced when the picture was being taken had returned. Edward wanted nothing more than to go back to that time in the photo, to feel so whole, to feel so much passion. Nowadays, he was entirely empty and his emotions were few. Except for when he looked at that picture. The second wave of sentiments engulfed him. The pain, the heartbreak. The memories of what he had did to her. The reminder that their current situation was his fault. His insides tied into knots and his chest familiarly tightened. Edward chronically pulled out his phone to check if Bella had called. His answer was the same as always. He put his phone and wallet away and sighed, running a hand through his hair. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and walked on.

As Edward stepped into the library, something strange yet familiar rushed through him. He furrowed his brows and looked around, but saw nothing that would trigger such a weird reaction. He shrugged and started to walk around aimlessly. It was a big library, as was expected of such a university. Before he knew it, Edward was staring at the many works of Jane Austen. His fingers softly caressed the side of _Pride and Prejudice._ It was Bella's favorite. He'd never read it before, but he could easily quote it cover to cover, seeing as it was all Bella ever talked about when books came up in a conversation. Edward briefly clutched his chest as the pain once again returned before sighing as he moved on.

He walked down every aisle, skimming the book titles. He would pause briefly at every one that Bella had ever mentioned reading. As he made it to the final section, _references_, his breath got caught in his throat. There, with a thesaurus in her hand and his sweater on her back, was Bella. But it couldn't be. She would've told him if she had made it into Harvard, wouldn't she? Memories of everything that had happened over the past few months of school filled Edward's mind. _No. No, she wouldn't._ He felt more than he had in weeks as her chocolate eyes met his, widened in disbelief.

Edward ached once again in heartbreak as she turned and started to run.

* * *

I'm sorry this was so short, but it was of vital importance, and I really wanted the next chapter to be one of its own.

Now, some of you have and probably are going to start questioning Edward's feelings so let me clear this up. He hasn't realized he's in love with her yet. All he knows is that he misses her, he aches at the thought of her, and he feels empty without her. I know it's extremely clear to us that he's in love, but the Edward in my story is a dipshit. He doesn't realize anything. He's stupid. He'll realize it soon enough, I promise.

Don't forget to review!


	12. Chapter 10

So I don't really like this chapter. I just don't feel like I did a superb job at it. Oh well. I can't love everything I write.

* * *

"There's a rain that will never stop falling, there's a wall that I tried to take down, what I should have said just wouldn't pass my lips, so I held back, and now we've come to this, and it's too late now, what do I do now that you're gone, no back up plan, no second chance, and no one else to blame, all I can hear in the silence that remains, are the words I couldn't say, I should have found a way to tell you how I felt, now the only one I'm telling is myself" - Words I Couldn't Say by Rascal Flatts

* * *

"Bella!" Edward called as he ran after her. The momentary shock of seeing her had caused him to lose sight of Bella. He ended up at the balcony and frantically scanned the floor below until he spotted her packing up her stuff.

"Bella!" he yelled as he ran down the steps. She looked up at him and sighed as she realized there was no way she was going to be able to escape him. He was _much_ faster than she was. Edward stood in front of her.

"Bella," he whispered, a small smile teasing his lips.

"_What are you doing her_e?" she hissed. Edward flinched, taken aback by the tone of her voice.

"I'm a student," he replied simply.

She rolled her eyes. "That's obvious. I mean what are you doing _here_, at Harvard. Why aren't you at Dartmouth?"

He shrugged and looked around them. "I really don't know. Something just kinda…_made_ me go here."

Bella raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know how to explain it. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I'm here…and so are you."

She hastily grabbed her backpack. "And now I'm leaving."

"Bella, no." He grabbed her arm. "Please. Let's just…talk for a little while."

"I have _nothing_ to say to you," she spat. Her words caused agony to pierce both of their souls. She looked up to him and immediately regretted what she said. His face displayed his inner turmoil. She exhaled loudly.

"Five minutes," she reasoned. "You've got five minutes."

He smiled as best he could as they sat down. Though the pain was still ongoing, Edward felt happier than he had in months. For her to be here, for them to be at the same university, was no coincidence. He knew she was the force that made him sign the acceptance papers. She was the reason he was here.

"How've you been?" he asked.

Bella looked at him incredulously. "You've got five minutes to talk to me and you ask _how I've been_?"

Edward nodded. She really didn't realize how important her well-being was to him.

"The answer to your question depends on the context. Physically or emotionally?"

He inhaled sharply before answering, "Physically." _Small talk first_, he thought.

"Well, then, I'm fine. Perfectly healthy."

"No tripping down stairwells?" he joked.

"No," she curtly replied. Edward felt the shards start to stab at his heart like they used to so many months ago.

"You aren't gonna give me a break at all, are you?"

"You think you deserve a break?"

His pain intensified. "No," he said quietly. "No, I don't."

"Good because I'm about to go on to the emotional part."

He nodded for her to begin.

"These past 3 months have been _hell_," she started. "Not because it hurts. Not because I miss you. Not because I regret leaving. But because I don't feel _anything_. I burnt myself in the shower last month because I didn't realize how hot the water was. I'm completely numb. I'm empty. Because of _you_. There's a great guy that wants to have lunch with me, but I can't say yes to him because of _you_."

Edward's head snapped up. "Who?" He really wanted to punch this guy in the face.

She waved her hand in a dismissal gesture. "Doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that I'm completely _miserable _because of you. Because you're _so fucking stupid."_

He stared at her with remorse etched on his face. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry isn't good enough anymore, Edward," she snapped and stood up.

"Bella, wait," he begged as he got up. "I…I left Amber. I broke up with her the day after you left."

"You think that'll just make everything better?" she questioned.

Edward shrugged. He knew it wouldn't fix it, but she deserved to know.

"It doesn't change anything." With that, she started to walk away.

"Bella, please come back!" he yelled.

"Shh! You're in a library," scolded the librarian. Edward muttered a 'sorry' and checked his watch. He would be late if he didn't leave now. He sighed and ran off to his next class.

* * *

Edward paid no attention to his professors for the rest of the day. How could he when he was being swallowed into a dark pit of anguish? He would fix this. He had to. Edward knew that they didn't end up at the same university for no reason. Something out there, whether it be God or some universal force, was giving him a second chance. He was _meant_ to fix this. He just didn't know how.

His mind was plagued with the ultimate question. _Am I in love with her_? He figured that if he was, he should've realized it by now. But something in him wouldn't let Edward answer _no_. He couldn't deny it, but he also couldn't admit to it. _What do you call that_?, Edward wondered. He was always told that when you fell in love with someone, you would just _know_. But he really had no idea. He needed something; something that would get him off the line and make him fall over to the side of his true feelings. But what? What was out there that could make you realize that you're in love with someone? Edward didn't know, but he hoped it came soon, before it was too late.

* * *

When Bella made it back to her dorm (she didn't have any classes on Wednesday), the tears that were permanently swimming in her eyes finally fell. She didn't want to run away from him. She wanted nothing more than to turn around when she heard Edward calling her name, but the pain was just too great. Pieces of glass were puncturing her heart at the sight of him, and he wasn't helping at all. Telling her how sorry he was, how much he missed and needed her, gave her false hope. She kept wishing he would say he was in love with her, but she knew the words would never pass his beautiful lips. Edward only saw her as his best friend, his sister. The thought of being in love with her probably made him want to puke. Why couldn't he just understand why Bella couldn't be around him? It tore her to shreds to be in his presence. To know that he's so close, close enough to reach out and touch him, but to have to hold back…was indescribable. Bella couldn't stand it, she couldn't stand to act like she didn't love him the way that she did. And that's why she couldn't just be his friend. She'd never been a good actor.

Bella laid on her bed and looked at the picture once again. Despite the pain that shot through her, she felt the overwhelming love flow through her veins. What was that saying? _Oh yeah_, she recalled. _It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces_. She scoffed at the cheesy phrase. Whoever made those things up had _way_ too much time on their hands. Bella rolled over and looked out the window. What building was Edward in? How close was he when she slept at night? Was he so close that he could hear her screaming his name in her dreams? Bella sighed and turned out the light, planning to sleep the rest of the day away in hopes that tomorrow wouldn't be so painful.

* * *

The next day in English, Bella sat down in the 2nd seat of the back row. She had always hated being close to the teacher, especially when he was short, plumpy, had glasses the size of her fists, and wore his pants like he was preparing for a flood. She shook her head and reached down for her backpack when she saw feet standing at the end of the row. _No, no, no, no, no, no. Please don't be…_Edward. He defiantly sat in the seat next to hers.

"No."

He looked to her with furrowed brows.

"_Bella_! Why, I didn't even notice you there!" he lied.

She rolled her eyes. "There are plenty of other seats, Edward. You don't have to sit here."

He shrugged. "I wanna sit here."

Bella faked an annoyed expression and didn't argue any further, partly because she knew he would win, and partly because she didn't want him to move.

"Bella-"

"Good morning, class!" greeted the professor in a nasal voice. Bella heard Edward trying to hold back a laugh and couldn't help but to smile. "Now, if you'd please direct your attention to the board…"

Bella stopped paying attention as Edward slipped her a note.

_Hello_.

She turned her head to him with raised eyebrows. He nodded at the note. (A/N: Bella will be italicized and bolded, Edward will just be italicized.)

_**Hi. **_She passed it back.

_Did you sleep well?_

_**No.**_

_Me neither. I was thinking about you all night._

_**That's nice.**_

_Bella, please give me a chance to fix this. Let's talk._

_**We tried that already.**_

_I know, but I'd like to try again. Please, Bells. I miss you. So much._

Bella had to swallow back a lump at the use of her old nickname.

_**Nothing you can say is going to fix this.**_

_Let me try. Please._

_**Give me a good reason why.**_

Edward hesitated for a moment before taking his pencil to the paper.

_Because I miss seeing you smile. I miss your laugh. I _hate_ being a stranger to you. My world stopped turning the day you left. My insides are, like, bleeding. I don't know exactly how I feel about you, Bella, but I do know that I can't live without you. That everything has been a blur these past few months. Ever since you left, I'm in constant pain, and I've become so used to it that I now feel numb. But when I'm with you, I feel whole, like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. When I think of not being with you, of growing apart…I can't breathe. Please, Bella. Just…get coffee with me after class tomorrow. I can't explain it all now. Please._

Bella's eyes started to water as she read his note. She knew he didn't mean it the way she wanted him to. He said that he didn't know exactly how he felt about her, but she knew. Bella knew they were just best friends. But to realize that he'd been in so much pain…she couldn't say no. She sighed.

_**I guess one cup of coffee won't hurt.**_

He grinned when she passed it back to him.

_THANK YOU!!_

She chuckled and crumpled up the note, throwing it into her book bag. They were silent the rest of class, both entertaining thoughts of what could happen over a simple cup of coffee.

* * *

Woohoo! Coffee! Now, what could happen over a simple cup of coffee? Only I know! I'm excited for the next chapter, and that's all I can tell you.

Let's see…oh! Bella and Edward's English class is on Thursday and Friday so that's why they're going after class the next day. I couldn't find a place to add that sentence where it flowed smoothly so I just put it here. One more thing, I didn't edit this chapter too much because it's late and I'm hungry and the tacos are ready and I really want to get a chapter up tonight. So forgive me for any spelling mistakes and for the…inadequateness of the chapter. I'm only human. I get lazy.

Review!


	13. Chapter 11

Thank you so much for all of the reviews! It seemed like there was something I wanted to clear up…oh! I remember. One person asked me how long they had been at Harvard. I answered them personally, but just in case anyone else was wondering, they've only been there a week. The English class in the last chapter was the first of the semester.

* * *

"One more chance, I never would react like this, one more time would be time enough to think about it, and one last straw could be strong enough to make this work, or throw away everything" - No Good At Saying Sorry (One More Chance) by The Early November

* * *

The next day in English, Bella scanned the seats. She walked over to one that was between two people and had people in front and behind her. It was closer to the teacher than she would have liked, but she wanted to tease Edward a little. _Let's see him try to sit next to me now_, she mentally sneered. She looked around until she saw him standing at the top of the steps, staring at her. She grinned and waved as Edward chuckled and shook his head at her. She stuck out her tongue and directed her attention to the front of the classroom.

Half way through the class, Bella felt something hit her head. She turned around to see Edward beaming at her from the back row. She glared at him and picked up the note.

_I don't like where you're sitting. You should be back here, with me. Don't get me wrong; the back of your head is beautiful. But I much prefer your face._

Bella rolled her eyes at him and stuck the note in her backpack. There was no way she was going to risk getting caught by throwing the note back to him. She didn't understand why he kept saying things like that when he wasn't in love with her. Didn't he see that it got her foolish hopes up? They were going to get up too high then fall like a ton of bricks. _That's gonna hurt,_ she mused.

Everyone stood up to collect their things as class ended. Bella jumped, startled, as she realized the guy that was sitting next to her was…close.

"You're pretty," he complimented. He was average in height and weight, brown hair, blue eyes. He was just…average.

"Uh, thanks," she replied and continued to gather her stuff.

"You should come eat a late lunch with me."

Bella raised her eyebrows. "I should?"

He nodded. "We could have a _great_ time."

"Sorry, but I already have plans after class today."

"What about tomorrow?" he pressed.

"I'm busy then too."

"The day after?"

Bella sighed exhaustedly. "Look…um…"

"Tanner."

"Tanner….you see, I…have a boyfriend," she lied.

He cocked an eyebrow. "You do?"

"Yep," said Bella with a smile.

He moved closer to her. "I don't believe you."

"Hey, baby!" Edward exclaimed as he walked up to them. He had obviously been listening to the exchange. He wrapped an arm around Bella's waist and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry I didn't sit next to you in class today. Stupid alarm was broken so I came in late. Had to sit in the back."

"Uh, it's okay." She wrapped her arm around his back in return. _Don't get your hopes up, Bella. He's just protecting you, like any best friend would,_ she scolded. Despite what she told herself, her heart was still racing a mile a minute.

"Hi, I'm Edward. Bella's boyfriend," Edward introduced and reached a hand out to shake Tanner's.

"Whatever," Tanner muttered and walked away. Bella turned to Edward.

"Thanks, I guess." He replied with a smile.

"Ready to go?" asked Edward.

"Yeah," she answered with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. They left for coffee, his arm never leaving her side.

* * *

"Starbucks?"

Edward looked to her. "Yeah, where else would we go?"

Bella shrugged and followed him in. After getting their drinks, strawberries and crème frappuccino for her and black coffee for him, they sat on a bench outside. Greenery surrounded the area and there was a large water fountain that changed colors directly in front of them. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Bella looked over to him.

"So?"

"So what?" he asked.

"So you wanted another chance to talk and you're not saying anything."

Edward sighed. "Can't we just enjoy being in each other's company for a few minutes?" He slung his arm around the back of the bench, around her shoulders.

"I really just want you to talk, Edward."

He raised and lowered his eyebrows quickly before leaning forward to put his elbows on his knees. "Okay."

Bella stared at him. He was silent for a long while. "Are you gonna say anything?"

"I don't know how to start," he admitted. Where did he start? He already told her that he missed her and such in the note. Without knowing how he really felt about her, what could he say?

"Bella, I told you before that I'm not sure exactly what my feelings for you are. I need time to figure that out, but I can't figure it out if I'm not around you. I _need _to be around you."

"That's it? That's all you've got to say?"

He shook his head. "I don't know what else there _is_ to say until I find out what it is that I feel for you."

"So I'm just supposed to sit here and act like everything is okay so that you can find out whether you love me or not?" she asked incredulously.

"I know it sounds bad, Bells, but I need to find out. I need to fix this."

"That's your problem!" she exclaimed. "You always have to _fix_ everything! Some things aren't repairable, Edward!"

"But this is!" he argued. "This is repairable! I can fix this! I _have_ to fix this. I have to have you in my life."

"And how exactly do you plan on doing that?" she quietly inquired.

"I don't know yet," he answered softly. "But I'll do anything to get you back, Bella. Anything."

Edward looked over at her and noticed things he'd never seen before. Though she always said she didn't have any curves, Edward saw them all. Her hips, her waist, her chest. His gaze traveled to the crook of her neck. The skin looked so soft; he wanted desperately to touch it. He looked up to admire her face. Beautiful chestnut eyes stared back at him like he was crazy, but Edward didn't stop his examination. Her perfect button nose, the blush that had arisen on her cheeks. He finally riveted his eyes on her lips. They looked so smooth, so luscious, so very _kissable_. Desire coursed through Edward's body like a speeding bullet, and, before he could think of what he was doing, he had gently placed his lips on hers.

Bella gasped in surprised and tried to pull away, but Edward had firmly placed his hand on the crescent of her neck that he had so yearningly wanted touch. His lips moved softly against hers. The undeniable passion radiated through them like a raging fire, but he wasn't eager or pushy; his kiss was like velvet. It was so pure, so unadulterated, so _real_. Bella impetuously wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back with equal tenderness and desire. Edward moved his other hand into her hair, affectionately stroking it.

"Bella," Edward whispered against her lips before trying to close the distance between them once more, but Bella had already pulled back. Edward stared at her confusedly. She was crying.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

She shook her head before saying in a subdued voice, "How could you?" Bella got up abruptly and started to run.

"Bella!" Edward called after. "Bella, come back!" He would've run after her, but he knew there was no point. There was no way she would talk to him now.

"What just happened here?" he bewilderedly asked the air. He sat back on the bench and dug his head in his hands. He still wasn't a hundred percent sure he was in love with her, but he knew that was no friendly kiss. There was no denying the sparks he had felt, the tingling sensation in his hands. So why had she run away? He knew Bella had felt it too. So why wasn't she here with him, right now? Why weren't they together? All questions he had no answer to.

"Shit!" Edward yelled as it suddenly started to pour down rain. He ran back in the Starbucks and sat at an empty table by the door.

As he stared out the window, he swore his heart was still out there, being pulverized by the pounding rain.

* * *

Bella took refuge under a tree as it started to rain, the drops mixing with her tears. How could he? How could he be so desperate to have his best friend back that he would do something like that? That he would kiss her? Didn't he know how she would feel? During the kiss, she was alive. She was in heaven. Her breath was taken away and her knees felt weak. Fireworks erupted in her soul, but she knew it was one-sided. He said he'd do anything to get her back. Even pretend to love her.

But now, she was screaming from the inside. She was pleading that the feelings for Edward to be taken away. What more could she possibly be put through? Her heart had been ripped apart at the seems, her soul had fallen to the floor. How much more damage could be done?

She turned her gaze to the starlit sky as it mocked her, dancing around like all was well, while she was broken down to nothing but an essence full of pain and despair.

* * *

That last sentence once again calls for credit to dynamite69. I changed it around a little, but she gave me the general idea. Thanks again!

I really wanted to make the last section longer, but everything I thought of saying just didn't flow well at all. How much can you say when you're just a lump of pain?

And is it just me, or does it seem like my chapters are getting shorter?…and, like, less developed. I'll have to work on that.

Unfortunately, school starts on Monday. Therefore, updates might not be every day like they have been. However, there's only…5 chapters left so if I might be able to finish by then, but I also don't want to rush so I probably won't. But the story will probably be completed sometime next week. It's all coming together, kiddies!

Review!


	14. Chapter 12

Thanks for all of your reviews! Sorry I didn't update yesterday. Someone in my extended family died (it'd take forever for me to explain how I was related to him) so I had relatives staying at my house yesterday and last night for the funeral this morning. So here's my shout out to Pop: though I didn't get to know you as well as I would've liked, I still loved you, and you will be missed. Put in a good word for me up there. Rest in peace, Pop.

I apologize in advance if this chapter isn't as good or long as the others. I obviously have other things on my mind, but I really wanted to get a chapter up for you guys. Again, I'm sorry if this chapter isn't my best work.

* * *

"Hey, and I'll look away, pretend I'm okay, I'm back on the road again, and, please, could it be true, that I still love you?, and my love's unworthy, shades of gray, and please fade away, and, oh, what have I said in vain?" - Shades Of Gray by Waking Ashland

* * *

It had been two weeks since the fateful kiss. Edward had tried relentlessly to talk to Bella, but she wouldn't have it. She always found a way to escape him, catching up with a "friend" who was actually a stranger or hurrying to her next class, even if she didn't have one. She couldn't stand to be around him. She knew one look at his face, his lips, would cause her to jump on him and continue where they left off. But she couldn't do that. Edward probably wouldn't like it. She still thought that he only kissed her to get his best friend back.

But Edward knew otherwise.

He knew she wasn't just a friend. That kiss awoke something in him, something he could no longer ignore. Even now, he wasn't sure that it was love. He was still waiting for something, the thing that would make it all clear. Edward knew talking to Bella would be of no use if he didn't know his true feelings, but he couldn't stand being away from her. Which was what brought him here, to this club.

Bella hadn't gone back to her promiscuousness, but she could still go to the club and have some fun, right? She had no idea that Edward followed her here every night. He sat in a secluded corner of the nightclub, making sure to stay out of sight. Bella wouldn't see Edward unless she looked directly at him and stared. But she had no reason to look his way. She was too preoccupied on the dance floor.

Men surrounded her, too close for Edward's comfort. Their proximity kept her from falling, seeing as Bella was never very graceful. They took turns putting their hands on her hips as she grinded against their groins. Edward wanted to choke them all. He watched as one of them bent their heads and buried it in her hair. Bella reached back and wrapped her arms around his neck in turn. The guy turned his head and placed a kiss on her neck.

That was it.

Edward crushed the peanuts that he had in his hand. Something started gnawing at his soul like some kind of acidic and corrosive material. It consumed him. He wanted nothing more than to go over there and murder all who encircled Bella. Hate for all of them engrossed him. Fire burned blue inside of him as he saw Bella smile at the dick. His breath quickened and he abruptly stood up. How _dare _they? How dare they touch Bella in such a way? She didn't belong to them. They weren't _allowed_ to touch her like that. She was his. His Bella. How dare they touch the love of his--?

"Oh, fuck," Edward whispered with eyes wide. He dropped back in the chair. The love of his life. Bella was the love of his life. He was in love with her. Edward looked up to find her, but only saw her back going out the door. He didn't run to catch up with her. He couldn't tell her now when he had just realized it himself.

He needed a drink.

Edward sighed and walked up to the bar, hoping the bartender was like good ole Joe and wouldn't ask for I.D.

"Can I get a Flaming Black Russian?"

The bartender, who seemed to be about 55, looked him up and down. "There ain't no way you're 21, boy."

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "Did you see that girl dancing in the middle of all the guys a second ago?"

He nodded.

"She's been my best friend since I was four."

The bartender, Mitch, stared at him. "So?"

"I just realized I'm in love with her."

Mitch put down the glass he had been cleaning. "Let me go get you that drink. Have a seat."

"Thank you," said Edward as he sat down. Mitch soon returned with his drink and leaned across the counter.

"Alright, boy, start from the beginning."

* * *

"…then I saw that guy kiss her neck and that was it. I had finally realized it," Edward finished. Just like Bella had on her first bar visit, Edward had told their story from that historic day on the playground to where he was right now. Mitch shook his head.

"You sure are dumb, son."

Edward sighed. "Yeah. I know."

"No, really. I knew you were in love with her when you said you got butterflies when she grabbed your hand on that first day."

Edward looked up at him. "You really think it was that quick? The whole 'love at first sight' thing?"

"Yep."

"Ugh," groaned Edward before banging his head on the bar.

"Careful. You're gonna hurt yourself, kid."

He lifted his head back up. "There's no possible way I can feel pain worse than what I've been through the past 6 months."

"Yeah, you could."

"How?" he questioned.

"You could've gone through what Bella went through."

Edward furrowed his brows before softly asking, "I really hurt her that bad?"

Mitch chuckled. "You have no idea."

He looked at the bartender with a helpless expression. "What do I do now? Tell her?"

"She won't believe you."

Edward moaned. "How do I make her believe me?"

"Look, kid, I don't know the girl. Your best bet is to go home for the weekend and tell the people you and her know what's going on. Ask them. Plan something out."

He nodded somberly. "Yeah, I guess that's my last hope, huh?"

"Sure seems like it. You screwed up real bad, boy."

"I know."

"You broke her heart."

"I know."

"You drove her to alcohol."

"I kn--"

"And sex."

"I know!" Edward exclaimed. "I know! I'm a terrible a person! If she doesn't believe me…" He stared off and said in a quiet voice, "If she doesn't believe me, I deserve it."

"Now, now, don't go feeling sorry for yourself. Go home. Rest. Get advice. Win her back. You've already got her heart. All you need is her trust."

"That's not an easy thing to gain."

"No, it's not. So you better get going."

"Yeah." Edward stood up and handed Mitch a stack of bills.

"One drink ain't that much."

Edward shook his head. "It's not just for the drink. It's for everything." And he left.

Mitch shrugged and put the bills in his pocket.

* * *

Edward sped back to his dorm and hastily packed a weekends needs. His plane left in two hours. He yelled a farewell to his dorm mates and made it to the airport just in time. He allowed any and all thoughts to take over his mind as the plane left the ground.

He mostly thought of Bella, how much pain he had caused both of them, how he was going to fix it, how much overwhelming love he felt for her. How could he have overlooked this sensation for so long? It was so powerful, so tremendous; it seemed like his heart would burst out of his chest at any second. The passion radiated so brightly that he was sure everyone on the plane could see that he was a man in love. Edward briefly thought of his family and friends. What would their reaction be when he told them? Would they believe him? Probably not, but he didn't care. The only person he needed to believe him was Bella.

Edward sighed and rested his head against the headrest as he drifted into dreams of what could be.

* * *

I once again apologize for the shortness and inadequateness of this chapter, but I think it got the point across pretty clearly.

Please review.


	15. Chapter 13

Thank you again for all of your reviews! I'm sorry I didn't update at all this week. School started and things got hectic and I got tired. Speaking of school, there was a girl wearing a Twilight shirt yesterday. It had Edward on the front. I was like, I want one!

So, yes, jealousy was the key the whole time. I know you might wonder 'then why didn't he realize it when Bella was sleeping around?' Well, he didn't actually see that, did he? He had to see another guy touching and kissing her for it to be triggered.

* * *

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but I'm doing it, it's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone, still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret, but I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart, that I left unspoken, what hurts the most, was being so close, and having so much to say, and watching you walk away, and never knowing what could've been, and not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do" - What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts. I really think this is perfect. Most people think of this as a break up song, but I think it works perfectly for our situation, from Edward's point of view, of course. Especially the last line.

* * *

Edward walked up to his house with the pain consistently throbbing. There was no getting used to it. And that was a good thing. He didn't deserve to get used to it. He deserved to be in constant agony. How had he not realized this earlier? How did he let everything get this bad? It was all his fault. Bella was not to blame. Not one bit.

When he got to the door, Edward stopped. What was he going to say to his family and Jasper and Rosalie? Would they believe him? Would they help him? Questions like this raced through his mind until he decided that he didn't care tonight. He wanted to be alone. He would go in, walk upstairs, and shut himself in his room. Edward nodded to himself, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Everyone was in the living room, in his direct pathway to the steps. They all stopped their conversations as he entered the room. He stared back at them.

"What are you _doing_ here?" Emmett finally asked from his spot on the couch, an arm around Rosalie.

Edward sighed. There was no reason not to tell them right now. He would get it over with. But how to say it? Should he just be blunt?

"Edward?" It was Esme speaking, her voice soft. "Honey, is everything alright?"

Edward looked down, breaking eye contact with all of them. He ran a hand through his hair then looked back up at them. Focusing on Esme, he quietly admitted, "I'm in love with her." And he hasted up the stairs to his room.

"Is he talking about Bella?" questioned Alice.

"Of course he's talking about Bella," Emmett retorted. "Who else would it be?"

"Just think of how much pain he must be in," whispered Esme.

"Who cares? He deserves any pain that he's in!" That was Rosalie. "You guys all witnessed what he did to her!"

"He didn't mean to. He didn't know." Jasper.

"_Everyone_ knew!"

"Calm down, everyone," soothed Carlisle. "We have to remember that this really is not our business."

They all stared at him.

"Stay out of this," he warned. "Let them work it out themselves."

Everyone mumbled in agreement, the 4 youngest planning to speak with Edward privately later.

* * *

Edward groaned as someone knocked on his door.

"Open up!" ordered Rosalie from the other side. Great. Wasn't he in enough pain already? Rosalie just had to be first?

"It's open," he grumbled.

Rosalie yanked the door open and stomped in.

"You are such an _idiot_!" she started. "You think that just because you _finally _realized that you're in love with her that everything is suddenly fixed? That she's just going to forget everything you put her through?"

"No," he answered. "I know I'm an idiot. I'm an ass. I'm a fucking retard. I don't deserve for her to forget what I put her through. I know I don't deserve her. I know that nothing is fixed. I know I've screwed up everything. I hate myself, Rose. I absolutely loath myself."

Rosalie blinked, taken aback by his answer. "Oh…well, okay then. Um…okay." She shook her head and left.

_Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be_, he mused. He lounged on his bed for a while, wrapped in his own thoughts until another knock came at the door.

"Edward? It's Alice."

Edward sighed. Alice probably wouldn't be too bad.

"It's unlocked."

Alice came in and gently shut the door. She stood awkwardly and fidgeted her hands.

"So…you're in love with Bella, huh?"

He nodded. Alice sighed.

"Look, Edward. You hurt Bella really bad. It…it might be too late."

Another piece of glass perforated his heart. "I know."

"And you might've already…lost her."

Another shard. "I know, Alice."

"Okay, I just…I wanted to make sure you knew."

He nodded again.

"Don't get me wrong, Edward. I want everything to work out. I really do. I just…don't see how it can happen."

"I understand. Thank you, Alice." His tone hinted that the conversation was over.

"Okay," she said and left.

Edward leaned his head back against the wall. What if Alice was right? What if it was already too late? He remembered the conversation he had had with Jasper that one time. Jazz had said that he hoped it wasn't too late when Edward realized his feelings for Bella. What if it was? What if there was no way to regain her trust? What would he do? There was no one else in the world for him. She was his only one. She was it. But what if he wasn't _her_ only one? What if there was someone better out there for her? Someone who wouldn't break her heart? Part of him hoped there was. She deserved it. Bella deserved someone who knew what he had the second he saw her. Someone who knew they had the world. The other half of him prayed there wasn't. That they would work through this and be together. That's what he came home for, right? To get help? His thoughts were interrupted once again by a third knock. He could tell that it was Emmett by the force of the tap.

"It's open," he said once again.

Emmett entered with a wide grin plastered on his face. Edward raised an eyebrow.

"'Bout time you realized it, Ed. Seriously, man, we've been waiting forever."

Edward furrowed his brow. Of course they all knew he was in love with her before he did.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Wasn't our place. Believe me, little bro, I tried to. Lots. But they wouldn't let me. If I told, I wouldn't get any from Rose for a year."

"God forbid," Edward muttered.

"But it doesn't matter. You know now. So what're you gonna do about it?"

Edward shrugged.

"Well…maybe you should find out where she is first?" suggested Emmett.

"She's at Harvard. We're in the same English class."

"Whoa. Talk about fate."

Edward chuckled.

"Look, Ed, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. But you can't give up. Not on Bella."

"What am I supposed to do, Emmett? She won't believe me if I just tell her."

The elder brother grinned.

"What?" Edward asked cautiously. He knew that look.

"Let's just say I've got some ideas up here." He tapped a finger on his head. "Alice and Jasper will probably help. I'll convince Rose. Man, this is gonna be awesome!"

"Mind telling me what it is?"

Emmett shook his head. "I'll tell you once I know. I gotta go write some things down. Don't worry, Eddie. You'll get her." He slapped Edward's shoulder and left. At least one of them was optimistic. Jasper came in the room seconds after Emmett had departed.

"May I come in?"

Edward couldn't help but to smile. Only Jasper would be the one to ask.

"Have a seat," Edward replied. Jasper sat on the edge of his bed.

"So how'd it happen? What made you realize that you're in love with her?"

Edward chuckled humorlessly. "Jealousy."

Jasper nodded. "That's a very powerful emotion. It can trigger a lot of things," he took a deep breath, "Edward, you haven't lost her."

He looked up at Jazz. "What makes you say that?"

"She just called Alice."

Edward sat up interestedly. "What did she say?"

"Something along the lines of loving you no matter how much you hurt her. She said she'd do anything for you to love her back."

"I do," whispered Edward. "I do love her back. So much."

"I know, but she needs to know. And, Edward, just because she loves you…it doesn't mean she trusts you. You're going to have to earn that."

"I know. I'll do anything. Emmett's got ideas."

Jasper nodded. "Wanna go check them out?"

Edward responded by getting up. They ran into Emmett in the hallway.

"I've got it!" he exclaimed. "Aw, man, you'll have Bella for sure with this!"

"What's the plan?" asked Edward.

Emmett gave him the papers he had in his hands. "You see, first you've got to get her to go on a walk with you…"

* * *

Edward, Jasper, and Emmett entered the living room where everyone else was watching TV. Edward took a deep breath and rubbed his hands together.

"Look, everyone, I know I screwed up really bad. I know you all hate me for what I did to Bella, but I guarantee you that I hate myself ten times more than you guys hate me. I deserve it. But…I love her. I love Bella so much. I need her. But in order to get her, I need your help."

"Why should we help you?" Rosalie scoffed. "Do it yourself."

"Rose," started Emmett, "a part of this plan would be perfect for you. Please. Don't you wanna see Bella happy after all of this? Or do you want her to be miserable for the rest of her life?"

Rosalie sighed. Bella was one of her best friends. Her happiness was important. "Okay, fine. I'm in."

"Alice?"

"Of course! I'll help in all the ways I can."

"Mom?"

Esme softly smiled and nodded.

"Dad?"

"I want nothing more than for my children to be happy. Bella puts you on cloud nine. I'm in."

Edward smiled as Jasper told everyone the plan and their roles.

"It's so romantic," gushed Alice.

"Why don't you ever think of stuff like that to do for me?" Rosalie asked Emmett sharply. He scratched his head.

"It's perfect, dear," Esme comforted as she patted Edward's hand, noticing the worried look on his face.

"Thank you, guys," expressed Edward. "This wouldn't be possible without all of you."

"No problem, little bro," said Emmett as he slapped his shoulder. "Plan 'Win A Klutz' is in motion."

* * *

Review please!


	16. Chapter 14

Thanks for the reviews! I know I already posted a chapter today, but I REALLY want to post the next chapter so I have to post this one first. It's short, anyway.

Just a warning, this is NOT the chapter with the plan. That's the next chapter. This chapter may be short because…well, the content. But I wanted the plan chapter to be one of its own so please bear with me.

* * *

"I wrote this letter in my head, 'cause so many things were left unsaid, but now you're gone, and I can't think straight, this could be the one last chance, to make you understand, I'd do anything, just to hold you in my arms, try to make you laugh, 'cause somehow I can't put you in the past, I'd do anything, just to fall asleep with you" - I'd Do Anything by Simple Plan

* * *

Edward took a deep breath before entering his English class. This was it. Everything depended on her answer. If she didn't agree to take a walk with him Saturday (he knew that neither of them had classes), everything would be lost. She had to say yes. He _needed_ her to say yes.

He scanned the room until he spotted Bella. She was chatting with some girl he had seen her talking to many times before. Bella laughed lightly at something the other girl said, but stopped abruptly when she noticed Edward staring at her. He stared back into her beautiful chocolate eyes until the girl she was speaking with caught her attention again. Edward took her inattentiveness to him as an opportunity to walk over to her without her running away.

"Ladies," Edward greeted as he approached them. "Bella, may I have a word with you, please?"

She glared at him. "Why?"

"I'd like to submit an inquiry, if you wouldn't mind."

"I do mind, actually," retorted Bella. "Now, if you'll excuse me--"

Edward grabbed her arm. "Please, Bella. I just need a second." He only then noticed that the other girl had gone to her seat.

"Class is about to start, Edward. Go sit down." She ripped her arm out of his grasp and stormily walked to her seat. Edward sighed and sat two rows behind her.

Bella had a sense of déjà vu as a paper ball hit the back of her head. Just like before, Edward was smiling at her.

_I did not want to have to use a note. It's very informal. However, you would not agree to let me speak to you so this is going to have to do. Will you please listen to my request?_

Bella sighed. She didn't want to give in. She wanted to turn around, look him in the eyes, and rip the note apart. But she couldn't. Instead, she wrote back.

_**Fine.**_

_Thank you. I am inquiring whether or not you would like to join me for an evening stroll this Saturday._

_**Why?**_

_I would like to have a conversation with you. It is quite important therefore I do not wish to do it over a note._

_**What's with the formality?**_

_Don't ruin the mood, Bella. Will you or will you not come with me Saturday?_

_**Something happens every time we try to talk.**_

_I assure you that I will do nothing other than speak if you would be so kind as to accept my offer. I give you permission to kick me in the balls if I do something you don't like._

_**So much for formality. And I don't need your permission to do that.**_

_No, you don't. But I wouldn't run away or try to prevent it. Will you come with me?_

Bella sighed once again. What could he possibly want to say to her? Only 3 words could fix this, and she knew they would never escape his lips. However, she was curious. She'd already been through insurmountable pain. Nothing he could say would hurt her more than she already had been. But did she want to have to feel fresh pain again?

_**I don't know, Edward.**_

_Please, Bells._

_**You lost the right to call me that anymore.**_

His eyes slightly watered as he read it. Had it really come to that? He couldn't even call her 'Bells' anymore? _Stay on her good side_, he reminded himself.

_I apologize. Would you prefer Bella or Isabella?_

_**You know I hate Isabella.**_

_I was just making sure. Bella, will you please accompany me this Saturday evening? This is the last time. If it doesn't go well, I will never disturb you again, if that's what you would like. I merely wish for one final opportunity to mend our relationship._

He was careful not to write 'friendship'.

Bella decided there was no point to put it off any longer. No matter how much or little he begged, she knew she was ultimately going to say yes.

_**Okay. Last chance, Cullen. **_

Edward's heart soared. She had said yes.

_Thank you. So much. If you would please come with me to my dorm after class today, I have something for you to wear Saturday._

_**I have to wear something special just to take a walk?**_

_It will all make sense on Saturday. I promise._

_**Fine.**_

After class had ended, Bella and Edward walked to his dorm, silent the whole way. When they got in his room, he pulled out a hanger that obviously had a dress on it (however, it had a cover so she couldn't see the dress) and a shoe box.

"_Please_ don't open either of them until you put them on Saturday," he begged.

"Fine. But why am I wearing a dress to talk a walk?"

"Just trust me."

Edward didn't realize his word choice until he spoke it. Trust. The one thing he was trying to earn from her. She took the materials from his hands.

"I'll see you in English tomorrow."

"Actually, no," Edward said. "I have…something else to be doing. But I'll see you Saturday. I'll be outside your dorm at 1."

Bella furrowed her eyebrows. "I thought you said an evening stroll."

"I did. It's going to take a little while to get there."

"How long is a little while?"

"About 4 hours."

"4 hours!" she exclaimed. "What's wrong with taking a walk around campus?"

Edward sighed. How could he explain this without giving anything away? "Bella, please trust me."

"Ugh, fine. I'll see you Saturday." She left.

Edward grinned and pumped a fist in the air when he heard the door shut. He took his phone out of his pocket and called Emmett.

"What'd she say?" the elder immediately asked.

"Yes," Edward replied, a smile evident in his voice.

"Excellent."

* * *

Again, I'm sorry this is short, but I want the next chapter to be its own.

Now, now, what could be about 4 hours away from Cambridge, Massachusetts? I have the next chapter so planned out. I looked up directions and descriptions and a bunch of other crap. I'm so proud of myself.

Review!


	17. Chapter 15

Here it is! The chapter we've all been waiting for! There will be an epilogue so this isn't the end. I mean, it kinda is, but kinda not. Thanks for the reviews!

NOTE: this chapter is going to be written like a song fic so the lyrics of the song I listened to while writing are going to be, you know, written or whatever. You understand what I mean.

* * *

Bella gasped as she took out the dress Edward had given her to wear. It was beautiful. It was red with flowy long sleeves, just above knee length, and had a 'V' neck with an elegant knot where the two ends met, resulting in some cleavage. It was obviously something only a Cullen could afford. Why did she need this to take a damn walk? She moved on to the shoe box. The heels were low and matched her dress. The shoe was open with a buckle strap around the ankle and a few more straps across the toes that had a sequined flower on them. Bella shook her head. All this to take a walk? It was ridiculous. However, she still obeyed and put the clothes on. Feeling extremely self-conscience, she walked to open the door as she heard someone knock, no doubt it would be Edward.

When Bella opened the door, both of their breaths were taken away. Edward was wearing a red long sleeved dress shirt to match hers with the two top buttons open, no tie, black slacks, and leather shoes that could be considered either casual or dressy. He looked mind-blowing.

"Wow," Edward muttered. He reveled the way the dress perfectly hugged her curves. The way it let out just enough cleavage to make you want to see more. The way it showed just enough leg for you to want to run your hand under where the material covered. "Bella, you look…wow."

She blushed, making Edward want to run a finger over her porcelain skin. "Thank you. You look 'wow', too." Bella couldn't help but to stare where the two buttons showed his chest. She wondered what the rest of it looked like. True, she had seen him shirtless before, but she knew it would be much different now that she knew she was in love with him. "And thanks for remembering that I need a _low_ heel."

He chuckled. "You're welcome." _God, I really want to rip off that dress...focus, Edward, focus! _"Ready to go?"

Bella nodded and followed him out of the building. When they got outside, she scanned the parking lot for his Volvo, but found something else instead.

"The _Vanquish_?" she questioned, awestruck. "I thought that you didn't like the way the engine sounded?"

Edward shrugged. "Rose fixed it for me."

"You've been begging her to do that for almost a year. What, she just suddenly decided to be nice and do it?"

He shrugged again and walked over to open her door. She gave him a small smile and got in the car.

"Where to?" she pressed as he climbed in the driver's seat.

"You'll figure it out soon enough," Edward replied and started to drive, his heart beat racing.

They were silent for the first part of the drive, both not knowing what to say. Bella's eyes widened as she looked at the exit sign they were getting on.

"_New York City_?"

He chuckled.

"Why do we have to go all the way to New York to take a walk?"

"You'll see."

Bella moaned. "I'm getting tired of not being in the know."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Just trust me, please."

Bella crossed her arms and looked out the window, once again letting them ride in silence.

"We're here," Edward eventually announced as he turned on East 63rd Street. He pulled up to a curb outside the Lowell Hotel.

"Why are we at a hotel?"

Edward looked at her. "You didn't actually expect us to go home tonight, did you?"

"Well, yeah."

He chuckled again.

"I'm not staying in a room with you," Bella stubbornly said, even though she really wanted to.

"Relax," Edward soothed. "We have the penthouse. There's more than one room."

"The _penthouse_?"

Edward laughed at her expression and got out of the car, giving his keys to the valet. Bella followed suit and walked up to Edward.

"I don't have any other clothes."

Edward opened his trunk and gave her a suitcase.

"You do now," he said smugly. She rolled her eyes and followed him to the elevator. He pressed PH, which she counted to be the 17th floor. She picked up her suitcase as the elevator dinged.

"Prepare to be amazed," joked Edward. As she walked in, she _was_ amazed. It was huge.

"Let me show you around," suggested Edward. He'd obviously stayed here before. "3 bedrooms, 4 private terraces, wood-burning fireplace, 3 bathrooms, gourmet kitchen, and a dining area." He walked her along to show her all of the places. Bella was speechless. "This is the master bedroom. See the wallpaper? It's hand-painted DeGournay from Italy. The bathroom is Selene Italian Marble with a soaking tub, separate shower stall, and 2 flat screens."

"I call dibs on this room."

Edward laughed, mentally wishing they could share it. _Maybe..._"It's all yours. Here, let me take your suitcase while you go freshen up. It was a long drive." Bella let him take the suitcase and walked to one of the many bathrooms. This place was amazing, beautiful, _expensive_. She shook her head. What was all this for, anyway? Edward knocked on the door.

"Bella? Ready to go for that walk? I don't want it to be too dark."

"Uh, yeah," she replied and walked out. "Where are we going?"

Edward cocked an eyebrow. "Bella, we're in New York. Where do you think we're going?"

She shrugged as they left for the elevator and out of the hotel, heading northwest toward Madison Avenue. They then turned left on 5th Avenue then right on 59th street.

"Central Park!" exclaimed Bella. Edward laughed.

"About time."

"Well, sorry. I've never been to New York before." Bella looked around as she heard music. "Where's that coming from?"

Edward smiled. "Follow me." As they got closer, butterflies filled Edward's stomach. Would this work? What if the others were wrong? What if she laughed in his face and left? So many 'what ifs'…

When they arrived at their destination, Bella's breath got caught in her throat. They were surrounded by all kinds of flowers, beautifully lit candles and there was a band playing not too far in the distance. They started a song.

_I step outside into the light_

_The sun is bright, I close my eyes_

_The summer caught me by surprise_

_And now I'm left here waiting_

"Edward, what is this?" she whispered.

He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Well, it was Emmett's idea, but everyone helped. Alice picked out our wardrobe, Rosalie fixed the car, Jasper found the band, my mom did the flowers and candles, and my dad…well, you'll see. Hopefully."

Bella stared at him, her mouth agape. What was going on? He walked over to a basket of flowers, one of each of the ones that were surrounding them.

"Esme picked out what she considers to be the top ten most romantic flowers," Edward started. He pulled out the first one and took a deep breath. The band continued to play.

_For you to tell me how it is_

_If I could only get a kiss_

_I could make you take a risk_

_On a boy who wants this_

"This is an iris. It represents faith and hope. I have faith that I can fix this and hope that you'll let me because, without you, I'm not gonna live much longer. This one's a daisy. It symbolizes loyalty. If you give me a chance, I would be eternally faithful to you, Bella. As loyal as could possibly be. My eyes would never stray. Next is the lily. Beauty. Bella," he smiled, "Bella, you are so beautiful. The most beautiful woman to ever exist. I can only hope that you'll let me prove that to you. This is a sunflower for esteem. You have no idea how highly I think of you, Bella. There is _no one_ better than you. Not even close. Gardenia stands for peace. I think that's pretty self-explanatory. The carnation represents affection. Just so you know, Bella, I'm _extremely_ fond of you, more so than you think. This is an orchid for exquisiteness. In this sense, finely beautiful. I know there was already one for that, but it's worth repeating. You're gorgeous, astoundingly so. This is a tulip for…for love. And a rose, also for love."

Edward another took a deep breath and looked Bella in the eyes. This was it. "Bella, I'm in love with you." He had done it. It was said. The weight of the world had been lifted off of his shoulders.

_And now the sun has sunk below_

_The evening wind now starts to blow_

_I catch the scent of your perfume_

_It lifts me higher than the moon_

"What?" It couldn't be true. Edward couldn't love her. There was no way.

"Bella, I am in love with you."

The words sounded so amazing coming from his lips, something Bella never thought she'd hear. "Wh…Why do you think that?"

Edward looked toward the starlit sky then back at her. "True love can never be explained. That's how I know I'm in love with you." He walked up to her. Tears shined in her eyes.

"The last flower," he continued, "is a lilac. It questions whether someone still continues to love." He moved closer to her. "Do you still continue to love me, Bella? I understand if you don't after everything I put you through. But...I really hope you do because I love you, and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to realize it. I'm so, so sorry." His heart thudded loudly in his chest.

"What? No, no, Edward…no. This--this is impossible. You don't love me. Not like that. You--you just want your best friend back. You're not in love with me." Why was he doing this to her? Didn't he know that this lie was the worst he could possibly tell her?

_I'll be fine_

_If you stay by my side_

"Bella, I am in love with you. There's nothing worse than losing you, and I would know. Without you, I'm nothing. I'm a bottomless pit of darkness. I'm in constant pain and my heart keeps breaking until it can't break anymore. But when I'm with you…God, Bells. Everything is better. The sky is bluer, the sun shines brighter, the birds sing louder. You're the last person I ever want to fall in love with and…and you're the only one I want to spend my life with."

_Never felt this way in my whole life_

_Never had this feeling before tonight_

_Can't get you off my mind_

'_Cause you shine, girl, oh, you know you shine_

"You're my heart, Bella. I want…I want to kiss you on the rainiest day of the year. I wanna hold you and never let go. I wanna wake up next to you. I wanna marry you and have kids and a house and a white picket fence. I want you, Bella. Forever. And I'm so, so sorry I took so long to figure all this out. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. I want nothing more than to take it all back, to bear it so you don't have to. I would do anything for you to never feel any heartbreak ever again. If you'll let me." He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

She stood speechless. She knew there was no lie passing his lips. He was telling the truth. He was in love with her.

_You're eyes are brighter than the sun_

_They make me see that you're the one_

_Your smile takes my breath away_

_And leaves me with nothing to say_

"Edward…" She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to feel. "Edward, show me. Show me you're in love with me."

He quickly closed the distance between them and crashed his lips to hers. Their lips molded together, finally becoming one. Their tongues didn't fight; they danced, softly stroking each other. Bella's hands were tugging his hair as he wrapped an arm around her waist, his other hand cupping her face. They continued to kiss, neither giving nor taking control. They were equal. They were one. Passion and love flowed through them like waves in the ocean. They both felt the overwhelming love flood their souls. Edward finally pulled away from her and rested his forehead on hers.

"Nothing will ever take my heart away from you, Bella. Ever. Will you please, please give me a chance? Give _us_ a chance?"

_You aren't like any other girl_

_That I've met in this whole world_

_You're so much more than they can be_

_So won't you please just be with me?_

"I love you, Edward. I do. But how can I trust you not to break my heart?"

He cupped her face in both of his hands and looked in her eyes. "I will do _anything_ to get your trust back, Bella. Just tell me how. I'll do it. I need to be with you. I love you." He softly and quickly kissed her again. "Please, Bella. Please."

Bella looked around them. He had done all of this for _her_. Because he loved her. He was in love with her. Her dreams were finally coming true, and she was considering saying no? It made no sense. She knew that saying no would only cause more pain, for both of them. There was only one thing to do. Only one thing she _could_ do. Bella leaned up and once again closed the short distance between them. Edward gasped in surprise, but quickly responded, softly moving his lips with hers.

"Is that a yes?" he mumbled.

"Mhmm," she murmured back. Edward broke the kiss as his face stretched into a grin. Bella squealed as he lifted her up and spun her around.

"I love you," kiss, "I love you," kiss, "I love you," kiss, "I love you," kiss…

She threw her head back in laughter. "I love you, too." He set her down and kissed her once more as fireworks went off.

"What is that?"

"My dad," Edward replied. The fireworks were in shapes of hearts, roses, Cupid, and many other things associated with romance. He bent down to kiss her again. "I'm never gonna get tired of kissing you."

She giggled. "Good. Now, I still would like to know why I had to wear special clothes for this."

"Well, if we wore our regular clothes, we might not've remembered what we were wearing. I don't know about you, but I want to remember every detail of tonight. Every. Single. Detail."

"I do, too," she whispered and started to kiss him again. It seemed that their thoughts were now pondered as one. As they had always had, their lives once again revolved around each other. They were made for each other; they were one. They were each other's better half. The ties that had always attached their hearts were now made of steel, an unbreakable bond. There was no more holding back. Their love would be flaunted, displayed, and people would envy the way gravity pulled them together. Their love would consume them like a fire, never to falter. They pulled back from each other as they heard someone clear their throat.

_And I'd give up forever_

_To see the day_

_Where the two of both could just walk away_

_Hand in hand_

"Ugh, why is anyone else here?" Edward complained. "Can't they see we're busy?"

Bella giggled. "You know," she started slyly, "the hotel isn't far from here. We could, you know…go to bed early."

Edward groaned as he thought of Bella, naked, under him, screaming..."Let's go."

They ran off hand in hand, as they would inevitably be for the rest of their lives.

* * *

So…did I do good? I wasn't really sure. I don't know, I just thought I could've done this chapter better. Like Bella shouldn't have believed him so quickly. I don't know. Whatever.

Review!


	18. Epilogue

So I know that I haven't updated this in forever, and I honestly wasn't planning to. I was just gonna let it be without the epilogue. However, I just reread and it was like, how can I leave this without an epilogue? So here it is, finally. Thanks again to everyone who faithfully read and reviewed throughout the story.

Once again, this chapter will be written like a song fic.

* * *

_She thinks I'm crazy_

_Judging by the faces that she's making_

_And I think she's pretty_

_But pretty's just part of the the things she does that amaze me_

May 14th, 2014. Twenty years to the day since Bella and Edward had met. Coincidentally, they were in the same place as that fateful day. The park in the middle of Forks. A small town, yes, but it held a lot of memories, good and bad.

"You remember that one time when Rose was like--"

"Then I was like--"

"Yeah!" Bella and Alice laughed at the memory as Rosalie scoffed.

"Why are you laughing?!" Rosalie yelled at her husband Emmett.

"I'm sorry, baby. But you gotta admit that that was funny," he replied with a grin. Rosalie flared her nostrils and crossed her arms, but loosened up as Emmett wrapped his arms around her ever growing stomach. There were only 6 weeks left until they would welcome a baby girl into the world. Emmett looked up at Jasper as he rubbed Rose's belly.

"You just wait, Jazz. You're next."

Jasper's eyes widened as he turned to Alice. She placed an arm on his shoulder.

"He's kidding, Jazzy," she reassured her fiancé. "I'm not pregnant." He exhaled out of relief. "Yet," she added. His eyes widened again as everyone laughed.

_She calls me sweetheart_

_I love it when she wakes me when it's still dark_

_And she watches the sun_

_But she's the only one I have my eyes on_

"Being a dad is great, Jasper," Edward said. "You'll love it, whenever it happens. You'll never be able to get enough of the little things." He smiled at his son, Cayden, as he said this. He was asleep in Bella's arms, as was usual for the 5-month-old. "Where's Hannah?"

"Over there," Bella replied as she pointed to the swings, where the 4-year-old was supposed to be. However, the swing was vacant. "Oh my God, where is she?"

Edward put his hands on her shoulders. "Don't worry, Bells, we'll find her. She's gotta be around here somewhere." Worries filled his own mind, but he knew that Bella needed him to be strong right now.

"I see her!" Emmett exclaimed. "Water fountain...who's the boy?" He felt suddenly protective of his niece. Bella shrugged.

"You know she makes friends easily."

_Two kids, one love_

_Who cares if we make it up?_

_Her voice a sweet sound_

_Our clothes lay on the ground_

_She moves in closer_

_Whispers, "I thought I told ya"_

"Daddy!" Hannah yelled as she ran over to him, bronze curls bouncing all the while.

"Hey, baby girl!" he said as he knelt to pick her up.

"What happened to your knee, Hannah?" Bella asked, concern for her daughter etched on her face. Hannah shrugged.

"I fell off the swing and my knee got a boo-boo, but this boy cleaned it up in the water!" She pointed to the little boy standing close by.

"Come here, son," Edward called and waved the child over. "What's your name?"

"Lander," he replied.

"Well, Lander, why don't we take you to your parents and tell them about how awesome you were today?"

The boy grinned and nodded. As the walked, Bella noticed that Lander and Hannah were holding hands. "Edward," she whispered, "look."

_Remember the day when we started this_

_And you made the shape of my heart with your hands_

_We try to make some sense of it_

_But she called me on the phone and said_

Everyone turned to look at the toddlers. They ducked their heads down and blushed at the attention, but didn't let go of each other's hands. The gang all looked at each, smiled, and said in unison:

"Here we go again."

_Tell me that you love me_

_And it'll be alright_

_Are you thinking of me?_

_Just come with me tonight_

_You know I need you, just like you need me_

_Can't stop, won't stop_

_I must be dreaming_

* * *

Short and not very developed, I know, but I just wanted you guys to know how it all ended in my head. Thanks again for reading and don't forget to review!

Oh, and the song is "I Must Be Dreaming" by The Maine. I suggest you check them out. They're amazing.


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